Free Beauty and Sadness by Yasunari Kawabata Page B

There’s nothing pure about one woman devoting her life to another.”
    “That’s something I wouldn’t know.”
    “Both of them may be destroyed.”
    “Destroyed?”
    “Yes.” After a moment she went on: “I hate to have the slightest doubt. I don’t care if it only lasts five or ten days, I want someone who can make me forget myself completely.”
    “That’s asking a lot, even of marriage, isn’t it?”
    “I’ve had marriage offers, but that kind of devotion doesn’t count. I don’t want to be concerned about myself. As I said, I detest subdued emotions.”
    “You seem to feel you ought to commit suicide a few days after you fall in love with someone.”
    “I’m not afraid of suicide. The worst thing is being sick of life. I’d be happy if you strangled me—after you used me as a model, that is.”
    Oki tried to dispel the feeling that Keiko had come to seduce him; perhaps she was not such a designing woman. In any event, she might be quite an interesting model for a character. Yet it did not seem unlikely that a love affair followed by a separation would drive her, as it had Otoko, into a psychiatric ward.
    Early this spring when Keiko had brought her other two pictures Taichiro had received her, and then left the house to go out with her all the way to the ocean beyond Kamakura. Obviously she had captivated his son.
    But she’d ruin him, Oki thought. He told himself he was not merely being jealous.
    “I hope you’ll hang this one in your study,” Keiko said.
    “Suppose I do,” he replied half-heartedly.
    “I want you to catch a glimpse of it in a dimly lit room at night. Then the green of the tea fields will sink into the background, and all my gaudy colors will come floating out.”
    “I imagine it would give me queer dreams.”
    “What kind of dreams, I wonder?”
    “Well—young dreams, no doubt.”
    “How nice of you to say so! Do you really mean it?”
    “You’re young, after all,” said Oki. “Those rounded waves of tea bushes reflect Otoko’s influence, but the colors seem to be you yourself.”
    “One day will be enough, I don’t care if it gathers dust in your closet after that. It’s a bad picture. Before long I’m going to come and slash it to ribbons!”
    “What!”
    “I mean it,” she said, looking curiously gentle. “It’s a bad picture. But if you’ll just hang it in your study for a day …”
    He did not know what to reply. Keiko hung her head. “I wonder if this funny picture really will bring you any dreams.”
    “I’m afraid I’ll be tempted to dream about you.”
    “Please do, dream whatever you like.” An unexpected flush tinged her beautiful ears. “But Mr. Oki,” she said, looking up at him, “you haven’t done anything to make yourself dream about me.” Her eyes clouded slightly.
    “Let me see you off, then, the way my son did. There’s no one at home, so I can’t offer you dinner. I’ll call a taxi.”
    Their taxi passed Kamakura and went along the Shichiri Beach. Keiko was silent.
    Both the sea and the sky were gray.
    Oki had the taxi stop at the Enoshima Marineland across from the island.
    He bought cuttlefish and mackerel to feed the dolphins. The dolphins leaped from the water to take the bait out of Keiko’s hand. She became more daring and held the bait higher and higher. The dolphins kept jumping higher after it. Keiko was as delighted as a child. She did not even notice that it was beginning to rain.
    “Let’s leave before it gets any heavier,” he urged her. “Your clothes must already be damp.”
    “That was fun!”
    In the car Oki remarked that schools of dolphins sometimes came in on the other side of the bay, a little beyond Ito. “They get chased close to shore, and then men strip down and catch them in their bare arms. Dolphins can’t resist if you tickle them under their fins.”
    “Poor things.”
    “I wonder if a nice young girl could resist it.”
    “What a repulsive thought! I suppose she’d scratch and