Free Lost in Us by Heidi McLaughlin Page A

the stadium, which allows us to go to lunch or leave from work and walk to dinner.
    When I told Carrie that I was moving to Boston, she wasn’t too happy, but she’s dealing with the three hour drive that she makes twice a week. Alex and Cole, and their daughter Hayden moved to Connecticut, splitting the difference between Boston and NYC. Cole is back in the studio and has a number 1 hit on the radio. Dylan, she’s another story, and I don’t see her much. I know it hurts Ryan and that her and I don’t get along, but there isn’t anything I can do aside from leaving him and I won’t do that. Dylan comes around when I’m not there, and it’s something I’ve had to accept. I placate her with niceties and give her daughter presents, but that’s the extent of our relationship. I have Alex, he has Dylan. We’ve learned to accept things the way they are.
    Today, I’m watching a group of young boys street dance. It’s not the first time I’ve seen this particular group and have talked to Carrie about using them in a music video. The talent they have is unparalleled. They’re not classically trained, and I think that’s where they have an advantage. They choreograph their own steps and allow their bodies to move to the music. They’re definitely my favorite type of street performer.
    Just beyond their circle, there’s a man playing drums on anything and everything – except a set of drums. He’s the entertainment. He’s the one providing the beat right now. He’s also my inspiration for new music. Because of him I want to break out into something else, a sound more edgy and less auto-tuned. I want to go back to the basics of music and let people fall in love with the rhythm and lyrics and not so much the show I put on. There’s something about sitting on stage and performing without the loud amplifiers and flashy light shows. I want people to feel the intimacy that music can provide.
    I search through my purse for my ringing phone. When I see who’s calling, I know my face is beaming. “Hello,” I answer with pure excitement.
    Ryan laughs on the other end. “I was going to ask what you’re doing, but I can hear.”
    “I’m fascinated, what can I say.”
    “Hmm, you can say you’ll meet me at the stadium in an hour or so.”
    I look at my watch and see that it’s now rush hour. The trains will be jam packed. “An hour is doable, I think. It just depends on the trains.”
    “It’s fine, I can wait. Just get here, okay?”
    “Okay, on my way. I love you.” I smile brightly as the last three words roll off my tongue. Telling him that I love him has to be my most satisfying achievement each and every day.
    “I love you too, Hadley,” he replies before hanging up. As much as I hate leaving before their show is done, I’m more eager to see Ryan. I pull a few twenties out of my wallet and set them in their bucket. I’ve spoken to a few of these guys and know that they work minimum wage jobs and do this to put a little more food on the table. A couple of the guys bring their little kids down to watch so that they’re working but still with family. Seeing this makes me very thankful for what my parents did for me.
    I hustle to the train, longing to see Ryan. There isn’t a game tonight and it does strike me as odd that we didn’t make plans. Not that we need to see each other every night, but I’m not complaining if we do. The break-up, while it hurt, did us well. We were able to grow, function normally without being dependent upon each other and fall in love all over again. I think that has been our biggest blessing, love. I now find myself craving him. The need to be near him is so great that each time I see him, I’m warm and tingly and feel like I’m falling all over again. It’s a feeling I never want to lose.
    By time I’m at the stop for the ballpark, I’m only ten minutes late. I rush down the hall and up the escalator to his office. I bypass his receptionist, Wendy, who I found out is