Free The Sacrifice (The Alexandra Denton Chronicles Book 4) by Amanda K. Dudley-Penn Page B

I’m supposed to be with.  Until then, I’ve got to let you go.  I’m done hurting people.”
                  I heard him inhale sharply as I turned and walked away from someone I loved more than myself but it was still not enough.  My heart was broken and so was I as I walked away feeling the weight of everything I had caused falling down on me.
                 

Chapter Nine
Old Loves Die Hard
                  My body shook as the tears fell down my face and into the pillow as I sobbed harder than I ever had before.  I couldn’t take a deep breath instead I gasped as the pain in my chest grew larger and larger until that was all that I was…pain.  I closed my eyes as I thought of my life and the mess it had become.  I realized it was my fault…All my fault.  I was determined to fix it.  I just didn’t know how.
                  “Alex,” Kelly whispered with worry drenching every word, “What happened?”
                  I breathed out slowly as I gazed up at her unsure if I could speak.  I swallowed as I realized that my brothers stood in the doorway with concern marked clearly on their faces.  Kelly sat on her bed staring at me in horror as tears rested in her eyes.  Jonathon crossed the room and sat on the bed, pulling me into his arms and hugging me in a way that only a brother could.  He was silent for a while, rocking me back and forth as he allowed me to cry.  When the tears finally faded, he kissed the top of my head.
                  “Do I need to kick someone’s ass?” He asked, causing my chest to loosen and the pain to fade a bit.  I couldn’t help but to laugh as I raised my eyes to his and shook my head.
                  “No,” I said, sniffling and wiping my tears with the back of my hand, “This is my fault.  If you were going to kick anyone’s ass, it would have to be mine.”
                  He raised his brow, “Well, I don’t want to do that,” he said and then frowned as he studied my face and tried to decipher what had happened, “What exactly is your fault?”  
                  “I broke up with Ky,” I said as I took a shaky breath and clasped my hands in front of me. 
                  Jeremy blinked in surprise, “It doesn’t look like you wanted to, Alex,” he said, confused as he took a step forward, “Why would you do it, if you didn’t want to?’
                  I rubbed my temples as a dull headache began and then, gazed up at Jeremy, “I was hurting him,” I said swallowing over the bitter, metallic lump in my throat, “How could I not be?  I’m in love with three people.  It would have to be torture for him.”
                  Jonathon nodded, understanding immediately, “Ky, Daniel and Semarias, right?”
                  I glanced up at him, “Yes,” I whispered as I clutched my chest with the pain of it, “It makes me a horrible person, doesn’t it?”
                  “No,” Jonathon said, giving me a small smile, “You didn’t cheat on Ky.  You tried.  You even broke up with him because it was best for him.  You’re not horrible, Alex.  You’re doing what you need to for him…For all of them.  It sounds pretty selfless actually.”
                  Jeremy tilted his head as he studied my face, “What are you going to do now?”
                  “I’m going to figure out who I really love,” I said with a sigh, “If it’s Semarias, I can’t be with him so I’d stay single but if it’s Daniel or Ky, that’s who I’ll be with.  I’ll figure it out but I won’t be with anyone until I do.  I’m not going to hurt anyone else by making them watch me struggle with loving someone else and dating them.”
                  Jonathon gave me a hug, “That’s a good idea,” he said and then, smiled as he rubbed his thumb