Free A Touch of Infinity by Howard Fast Page A

is too grave for me to take a leave of absence. Also, I don’t think I am unable to perform my duties. My country has a large investment in me, Dr. Blausman. I don’t feel it is my right to play fast and loose with that.”
    â€œAnd how did you come to me? You are stationed in Washington, are you not?”
    â€œAt the Pentagon.”
    â€œSo if we were to have three sessions a week—and I am afraid that would be minimal—you would have to do a good deal of commuting. Isn’t that a burden?”
    â€œI want this kept secret, and that might be impossible with a local man.”
    â€œBut why me?”
    â€œI read a paper of yours and I was very impressed by it. Your monograph on the Amnesia Syndrome.”
    â€œOh? But surely you don’t feel you have amnesia?”
    â€œPerhaps—I don’t know.”
    â€œVery interesting.” Dr. Blausman stared at the General thoughtfully. “Since you read my paper, you are aware that there is an enormous variety of amnesia, loss of identity being most common in the public mind. You obviously do not suffer that. There are childhood amnesias, adolescent amnesias, traumatic amnesias, and a hundred other varieties, due to shock, brain injury, drugs, senility—well, I could go on and on. Why do you feel you suffer from amnesia?”
    The General considered this for a while, and then he spoke flatly and abruptly. “I am not sure I know who I am.”
    Dr. Blausman smiled slightly. “Most interesting indeed. But in what sense? I have many young patients who feel a desperate need to know who they are. But that is in a religious, philosophical, or teleological sense. What meaning has their presence on earth?”
    â€œNot exactly.”
    â€œYou told me that you are General Franklin Hardy. I could ask you to show me your papers, but that’s hardly necessary.”
    â€œNot at all.” The general went into his pocket and revealed a series of identity cards. He smiled a very engaging smile. “Of course, they are not my only source of information. I have been with the army for twenty-seven years, and there are no gaps in my memory. I have served in World War Two, in Korea, and in Vietnam. As you may recall.”
    Dr. Blausman nodded. “I read the papers.” He waited a long moment. “Go on, sir.”
    â€œAll right, let me be specific. Three nights ago, I awakened. I am not married, Doctor. As I said, I awakened about four o’clock in the morning, and I was not General Hardy.”
    â€œYou are sure you were awake?”
    â€œAbsolutely sure. I was not dreaming. I got out of bed, and I was someone else.”
    â€œIn a strange place? I mean, was your bedroom strange to you? Was it completely dark?”
    â€œNo, I could see. I don’t draw the blinds, and there was moonlight. Was it strange to me?” He frowned and closed his eyes. “No—not entirely. I appeared to have a vague memory of a room that should have been completely familiar. I wondered what I was doing there. I felt that I should know.”
    â€œAnd then?”
    â€œAnd then I was myself again, and it was over. But I couldn’t get back to sleep. I was terribly shaken. I am not a man with poor nerves. I cannot remember being so shaken before.”
    Dr. Blausman glanced at his watch. “I’m afraid our time is over for today. Can you come back on Wednesday, the same time?”
    â€œThen you will—?”
    â€œHelp you? Treat you? Yes, however you wish to see it.”
    When the doctor took his break for lunch, he said to his secretary, “You can make up a new history for Mr. Smith, Miss Kanter. He’ll be back on Wednesday.”
    â€œDid you crack the mystery?”
    â€œIf you think of it that way. He’s General Franklin Hardy.”
    â€œWhat!”
    â€œYes, General Hardy.”
    â€œAnd—and you—hell, it’s none of my business.”
    â€œExactly. I