Free Never Forever by L. R. Johnson Page A

mouth, causing a sick, shameful sensation to curdle my stomach.
    “Bloody Hell!” is the first thing out of her mouth, then after a long pause she asks questionably, “We are talking about my arse of a brother, right?”
    “Yes.” I state, in a slow, reassuring way.
    “Well, that explains all of this,” she affirms, as she points towards the beautiful gift he left for me to discover. Turning back towards me, she looks deep in my eyes. “But I thought you hated him.”
    “I do…I did…I don’t know. I thought I did, but when we were in the hospital together he revealed a part of himself that reminds me of someone I miss.” Turning my back to Olivia I continue, “I needed him at that time and he was not about to leave me. There was a bond formed between us…so I thought.”
    “What do you mean, so you thought?”
    Turning back towards Olivia I notice she is now sitting in the club chair leaning forward, listening to me intently. Her eyes are no longer as wide as saucers, but instead they are now narrow with a deep furrow between them. A distorted twist to her face reveals a curious misunderstanding, as if she is cognizant of some sort of information I am missing.
    “Well, after we kissed everything changed. He looked at me with an expression of regret and became very cold and distant. At a moment when I should have felt joy, he made me feel cheap. I should have trusted my first impression and avoided him like the plague.”
    My tears begin to flow freely, again. Sorrow rips through my heart, slashing at whatever pieces I have left. I can’t take anymore loss. The weight of the past year pushes down on me, causing me to collapse under the enormous pressure. Damned up emotions explode within me like flood waters destroying everything within their grasp. I have been successfully able to run from my pain and tragedy until now. It is funny how something so immature and meaningless can break down the wall I have successfully built around my heart.
    Burying my head in my hands I begin to release my internal pain and suffering. My breathing vibrates against my chest from the sobbing motion I am making. A soft, warm hand presses gently against my back. “If I could, I would kill my brother, but you need to understand something about him first.”
    Gaining enough control over my emotions I am able to talk slightly, “Olivia, you don’t understand. I have repressed my emotions over the past year and whether good or bad, Callum has allowed me to let it go. I have not completely cried over my circumstance. No matter how hard it is for me to let go, I have to.”
    “I am confused. Please don’t let go of Callum yet.” Olivia’s eyes are moist and filled with sincere sympathy.
    “I am letting go of my husband.”
    Olivia’s hand suddenly drops as she backs up, completely taken aback by what I have just divulged. “Your bloody what? Please don’t tell me my brother has been pulled into an affair.”
    Wiping my tears away I utter softly, trying to not lose control again. “No. My late husband… who… died eight months ago.” The deep furrow between her eyes returns. I can see the wheels in her mind turning, trying to figure everything out. “I married my best friend and true love as soon as I turned eighteen. He was my savior in more ways than one. I could have never imagined my world without him in it. He was my… everything. One month after we were married I got a call that he had been involved in a serious car crash and was being taken to the hospital.”
    Warm, salty tears pour down my face as I relive the worst night of my life. The vision of that night opens up, allowing me to recall every detail. The cold, sterile feel of the hospital matched my numb, empty feeling, as if I was walking in a dream. The rush of people swarming all around me mimicked my chaotic mind. Everything within me seemed to be moving in slow motion as I headed to a private section of the emergency room. “As I rushed into the