Free Straight to Heaven by Michelle Scott Page A

I knew all about the man’s affiliation with that group.” Miss Spry poured herself more tea and used a pair of silver tongs to add a cube of sugar.
    “Besides, you were perfectly safe in the bar,” Mr. Clerk added.
    I wasn’t surprised that they took the matter so lightly. After all, Miss Spry hadn’t shown much concern for my safety before. Still, I had to make them understand. “Listen,” I said. “These people are survivalists, okay? They think the world is going to end very soon.”
    “It isn’t,” Miss Spry said.
    “Well, this man believes that it will, and so do his friends. They think once civilization falls, they’re going to have to battle to the death for every graham cracker and pack of matches.”
    Mr. Clerk suddenly snorted and set his cup down to avoid spilling his tea. His face went red from suppressed laughter. Miss Spry chuckled like a woman who’s just read a lovely bon mot in the
New Yorker
.
    Mr. Clerk wiped his face. “Do they really think that there will be something left to rescue when the world ends?”
    Miss Spry shook her head. “Graham crackers. Imagine.”
    A few months before, I’d experienced a taste of the worst Hell had to offer, and true, graham crackers were the very last thing on my mind. At the same time, I understood how terrifying it was to be out of control. Everyone needs to cling to the illusion that they have a safety net. Even if the holes in it are so immense that they’ll tumble straight through.
    “These militia types are serious,” I said. “They’re paranoid and very suspicious of outsiders.” My wrist still hurt where Craig had grabbed it. “They’re also prone to violence and very trigger happy.”
    Even while dressed for bed, Miss Spry wore pearls, and she tugged on them now. “What do you think, Patrick? Perhaps Lilith is right. Maybe we underestimated this militia thing.”
    Mr. Clerk shot me an angry look. “I’m a hundred percent confident that the man’s paramilitary affiliation did not impact tonight’s assignment. I know my job, despite what Ms. Straight thinks.”
    Miss Spry nodded. “That’s good enough for me.”
    It wasn’t for me. Mr. Clerk could claim to be an expert on human behavior, but I had a feeling that he didn’t get out of Hell very often. “Well,
I
think the information is important, and I want a bodyguard.”
    Mr. Clerk rolled his eyes. “A
bodyguard?
I assure you that’s completely unnecessary.”
    I rubbed my sore wrist. “I’d say it’s very necessary.”
    Miss Spry shook her head. “Lilith, you wouldn’t need to worry about the Militia if you hadn’t let that guardian angel get the better of you.”
    Mr. Clerk sighed in exasperation. “Angels aren’t that difficult, Lilith. Trust me.”
    “This one was! Well, okay, not difficult, but sneaky.”
    “You’re right. They are sneaky,” Mr. Clerk admitted. “One angel can bring randomness into the equation and wreak havoc on my calculations.” He glanced at Miss Spry. “What I don’t understand is why the other team is wasting resources on Lilith’s victim. From what I can tell, this Craig Fuller is not that important.”
    Miss Spry sipped her tea.
    “I mean, he isn’t a committed believer,” Mr. Clerk continued. “He follows his girlfriend to church, but he falls asleep during the service. So why is
He
,” Mr. Clerk rolled his eyes upward, “making all the fuss?”
    “Honestly, Patrick,” Miss Spry finally said. “Isn’t it obvious? Someone is interceding on his behalf. Get his girlfriend to stop praying for him, and
He
will stop protecting him. Do I have to do your job for you?”
    Mr. Clerk flushed angrily. “Of course not. I know what I’m doing, despite what you two think!”
    Miss Spry’s eyes went hot. “Are you being insubordinate?”
    He withered under her glare. “No.”
    “Then I suggest that you get back to work and figure out another meeting.” Her voice lowered an octave, becoming dangerous. “Right now.”
    Mr. Clerk