off. Iâve been studying way too hard.
No. Suddenly, I knew.
âDudes, why arenât you cheering?â I cried. âWhy arenât you celebrating? Come onâhurry. Go crazy. Go crazy!â
They stared at me.
âDonât you know this is our lucky day?â I said. âDonât you know whatâs in the box? Itâs the widescreen TV Iâve been begging for!â
âYes!â Belzer shouted, pumping his fists in the air. âSweet!â
âI finally convinced my parents that TV is educational,â I said. âI said I need to watch Fear Factor every week to learn what not to do!â
âSweet!â Belzer cried again. He slapped me a high five. âOur own widescreen TV!â We touched knuckles. Then we did the secret Rotten House Handshake.
âBut, Bernie,â Feenman said. He pulled me to the back of the crate. âIf itâs a TV, whatâs up with the air holes in the box?â
âHuh? Air holes?â
I stared at the round holes cut into the crate. And then all four of us heard a scratching sound. Something scratching the inside of the crate.
âItâs ALIVE!â Crench screamed. âThe TV is ALIVE!â
Chapter 3
W HAT S TINKS ?
We heard more scratching sounds, and then a loud squaaaawk . Something was definitely alive in there. We had to get that box openâfast!
Belzer found tools in the basement. They went to work, prying open the lid. Feenman and Crench used crowbars. Belzer used a claw hammer. I did the most important job: I cheered them on. âLetâs go, dudes! Good job! Good job!â
It meant a lot to them.
A few minutes later, the lid popped up, and the front of the box fell to the floor with a crash. Mymouth dropped open as I stared in disbelief at two animals.
A dog and a parrot.
MY dog and MY parrot!
âMy pets!â I cried. I dove forward and dropped to the floor of the crate to hug my fat, sloppy bulldog.
Lippy, my beautiful green parrot, squawked.
âGo bite a WALNUT!â
Isnât he sweet? Who taught him to say that? Was it me?
âGo bite a WALNUT!â
Ha-ha. He cracks me up.
I hugged my dog. âGood to see you, fella!â
He snorted hello and drooled drippy stuff all over the front of my school blazer.
Belzer stuck his head into the crate. âBut, Bernie, whereâs the TV?â
âThereâs no TV. Itâs my pets from home!â I cried. âI guess they missed me so much, Mom and Dad mailed them to school.â
I felt so happy. Iâd really missed my pets. And now here they were. Awesome!
I jumped up and smoothed Lippyâs feathers. âAre you a good boy, Lippy?â I whispered to the parrot. âAre you a pretty boy?â
â Eat birdseed and CHOKE !â Lippy squawked.
Isnât he cute ?
Feenman and Crench dropped down on their knees and started to pet my big bulldog. We heard a loud
The dog let out a moan. They suddenly stopped petting him.
Feenman made a horrified face. âOoh, what STINKS?â he gasped.
âThe dog!â Crench cried. âBernieâyour dogâhe STINKS! Oh, itâs bad. Itâs BAD!â
âHold your breath,â I said. âItâll go away in a minute or two.â
âI am holding my breath!â Belzer cried. âIt doesnât help!â The poor guy had tears running down his cheeks. He staggered away, choking, his fingers pressed to his nose.
âOh, man, thatâs BAD!â Feenman groaned.
Crench dove for the window, pulled it open, and stuck his head outside.
âBernie, whatâs your dogâs name?â Feenman asked.
âGassy,â I said.
Feenman nodded. âGood name.â
Chapter 4
P ARROT P LOP
Feenman and Crench both hung their heads out the window, breathing fresh air. The smell faded away in a couple of minutes. I told them it would.
I hoisted Gassy up and carried the big sweetie to my bed. He pushed his