Free Uncle John's Presents Book of the Dumb 2 by John Michael Scalzi Page A

injured 100. What a boulder was doing on the tracks is a question for another day.
    And perhaps this is why in July 2004, India’s railway minister announced that he was no longer responsible for the safety of India’s rails. And he named a new executive to take charge of this thorny problem, one who, presumably, would have the resources to handle the needs of India’s 13 million daily train-going passengers: Vishwakarma, the Hindu god of machines and draftsman for the entire universe. “Indian Railways are the responsibility of Lord Vishwakarma,” said Laloo Prasad Yadav, in passing the rupee. “So is the safety of passengers. It is his duty, not mine.”
    Well, okay, but how does one let Vishwakarma know about the various day-to-day infrastructure needs of the nation’s rail lines? Well, see, this is where Minister Yadav apparently springs into action, by talking to a picture of Vishwakarma he has placed on the wall. “I keep telling Him whatever accident or incident takes place on the tracks is His responsibility,” Yadav said.
    So how did the locals react to Yadav’s ideas about personal responsibility? Not very well. Columnist Varghese K. George agreed that the rail system was a national nightmare, but described Yadav’s rationalism as “an ingenuous excuse.” Times of India journalist Manisha Prakash bemoaned the fact that “Gone are the days when railway ministers used to resign, owning responsibility for train mishaps.”
    So what to do the next time you find yourself on a train in India? Well, obviously, pray. Think of it as speaking directly to the CEO.
    Source: The Times of India, The Indian Express, The Telegraph (UK)

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Downgrading from the Sixth Circle of Hell to the Fifth
    S omething that’s always puzzled us is why do people try to scam money from the poor? It’s not like they have a whole lot to begin with. And also, it’s just plain mean. You’re a criminal and you scam a rich person out of $100, and that’s just drinks and a cab ride home. Scam a poor person out of $100, and you make them choose between electricity and macaroni and cheese for a month. Really, that’s a mark against your soul. We’re not afraid to say it.
    Also, on a more practical level, scamming the poor while working among people who are paid to help the poor is not a smart idea and certainly not an ethical one. It tripped up “Marcie,” an office clerk who worked at Florida’s Department of Children & Families. Marcie’s coworkers suspected something was fishy when people who were in need of the department’s services would come in and ask to speak to Marcie, whose job description did not include working directly with department clients.
    One internal investigation later, the department discovered that Marcie had worked out a neat little scam in which she charged people hundreds of dollars for department services, mostly relating to government-assisted housing, that they were actually eligible for free of charge. Among her victims: a disabled woman, a single mother of three, and a little old lady whose husband had terminal cancer. Marcie scammed an extra C-note out of the little old lady by promising to helpget more medical treatment for her husband. All together now: Boooo, Marcie! Boooo!
    Marcie was arrested on six counts of unlawful compensation for official behavior and one count of organized fraud and held on $125,000 bail. She’s looking at 95 years in the clink. So ironically, it looks like at least one person will get government-assisted housing through her efforts.
    Source: Associated Press, Sun-Sentinel (Fort Lauderdale, FL)

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Can’t Blame Them For Taking It
    G eorgia’s low-income tax credits are designed to give the state’s poorest a little bit of a leg up. It’s not much—$26 per family member at most—but if you’re not making much money, $26 is nothing to sneeze at. Who is