Free The First Week by Margaret Merrilees Page B

have money? You think it’s easy for us?’ She was shaking.
    â€˜You wouldn’t be talking about Abo bludgers would you?’
    Lee’s voice was quiet but Marian heard the tightness. She knew she shouldn’t answer but she couldn’t stop herself. ‘Well,’ she said, ‘that is how it looks. It’s all grants and government handouts with you lot.’
    It was Mac talking, not her. You shouldn’t say those things, not out loud.
    Lee stood up. ‘You don’t know what you’re talking about. You don’t know anything about my people.’
    â€˜I know what I see. I know who does all the work.’
    â€˜Work. Is that what you call it? Ripping down trees, clearing the land, making a desert of salt.’
    Marian felt as though she’d been whacked in the belly. ‘That’s … are you blaming us?’
    â€˜Who else? Looks to me like the land’s been dying slowly ever since the wadjela arrived.’
    â€˜We have to eat, have to grow food.’ Marian shook her head to clear it. Lee was pushing her into a corner.
    She saw the younger woman’s scepticism and was furious. All the years of sweat. ‘You lot would just sit around and starve.’
    Lee spoke quietly. ‘I don’t have to listen to this crap in my own house.’
    â€˜Please,’ Sam said. ‘Please don’t fight. It’s bad enough already.’
    Marian levered herself to her feet and picked up her handbag. ‘No,’ she said to Sam. ‘She’s right, this is useless. I’ll go.’
    Lee didn’t move. Marian walked past her and out the front door, one foot in front of the other. She stepped over the fence.
    Sam had followed her.
    â€˜Don’t go, Marian. Not yet.’ She was pale, and looked as though she might cry.
    â€˜It’s no use,’ Marian said. ‘This is just making everything worse.’
    â€˜But where will you go? Have you got somewhere to stay?’
    â€˜I’ve got a room at the CWA.’ Thank goodness.
    â€˜Listen. I’ve got something you could read. Maybe it would help …’ Sam disappeared into her house.
    Marian stood on the porch. Her anger had gone, she felt empty and miserable. What a mess.
    The door banged and Sam came out breathless holding a large manila envelope. ‘Lee wrote this. It might explain … you know, why she’s pissed off …’
    Marian took the envelope. Pushing it into her bag she walked to the gate and turned back to Sam. The girl looked so unhappy.
    â€˜I’m sorry,’ Marian said. ‘Please say goodbye to Ros. And thanks. You know, for looking after me.’
    Waving her hand she walked quickly down the street. She had no idea where she was, just wanted to get away.
    She walked blindly, crossing roads, turning corners, passing closed shops and dark gardens, putting as much distance as possible behind her. The thin unnatural glow of streetlights was lonelier than the darkest night in the country.
    Eventually she came to a railway line and followed it to the next station. From the platform she watched the moon rise. A big old moon, past the full, petals blown.
    The people and the day whirled around her. The farm was miles away, it seemed years since Sam’s first phone call.
    It was only yesterday morning.
    This time she got the train door open without trouble, and sat down. The carriage was almost empty, except for a scruffy young man with one finger keeping his place in a Bible. With dismay she realised that he was staring at her, getting up to move closer.
    â€˜Are you troubled?’ he asked.
    â€˜No,’ she said. ‘Just tired.’
    â€˜You can rest in the Lord, sister.’
    She stared at him, beyond resistance.
    â€˜Are you easy in your mind?’
    â€˜Um …’
    â€˜Don’t answer at once. Take time to think. I’ll pray with you. Dear Lord, you have put us in this world of