Free Please Don't Tell by Laura Tims Page A

she’s sprawled out on the blanket, cozied up to November, all her insecurities that I didn’t know existed leaping off her like rats off a sinking ship.
    â€œIt’s not gonna work with me and Cassius. I know that. I’m too much, I think. Way too much for any guy to want to deal with.”
    She’s not too much. I’m not enough.
    â€œI’m not hot,” she says. “Not being hot is fucking annoying.”
    Does she ever look at her body and hate every part of it, too?
    â€œBullshit.” In the dark, November looks like her older sister. “You’re gorgeous.”
    That’s all it takes, and Joy’s smiling. What’s the point of being smart, if I can’t think of the words to tell my sister she’s pretty? Why don’t they have a class in how to say the right things to people?
    â€œYou’re sooo cool, Nov.” Joy’s babbling. “You’re like my cool big sis. Did you know that? You’re the coolest person ever. God.”
    I stop existing.
    â€œI’m not so great,” she murmurs, and I’m the only one who hears. Even though Joy’s closer to November than she is to me.
    I wander away from the two of them. Closer to the quarry. If I take three steps, she’ll like me more than November. Four steps and Adam will like me more than anybody.
    Fantasy: I fall into the quarry. Adam comes down here in the middle of the night. Finds my broken body. Writes a song about me.
    Suddenly Joy’s shouting my name. I blink. The darkness retracts. She’s up, a blur, yanking my arm. We both trip backward into the dirt.
    November’s up, too, shepherding us away from the edge. “From now on we stay over here by the trees.”
    â€œOh my God. You almost fell.” Joy clamps my elbow. “You were right on the edge.”
    â€œI didn’t think I was that close,” I mumble.
    â€œBut I got you. I saved you. Remember that time whenwe were little and I made you climb that tree outside my window? You fell and I didn’t grab you and you sprained your ankle? But I grabbed you this time. Right out of the air. Whoosh! ”
    â€œHow long do you think it would take to hit the bottom?” I ask.
    â€œA million years. Don’t ask me that.” She stumbles, collapses drunkenly against my side. “Grace. I love you sooo much. Did you know that? You are just. Sooo perfect. Oh my God.”
    My sister is an idiot and I love her.
    She fumbles with my hands, examining them in the dark. Splaying them out on the blanket. “You have to stop biting your nails.”
    â€œI hate the quarry,” November says suddenly. I forgot about her.
    Joy abandons my fingers. “Because Adam lives up there?”
    â€œNo. He never comes down here.”
    How does she know that? She catches me staring.
    â€œGuys,” Joy says. “Guys. I’m so drunk. I’m hallucinating that Cassius just showed up.”
    I follow her pointing finger. Cassius Somerset is hanging back in the tree shadows, the strange patterns on his skin silver in the moonlight. Did he come down from Adam’s house? Is Adam here, too? But no one else is moving in the trees.
    â€œHey, friends,” he says. Even though none of us are his friends.
    â€œHoly shit.” Joy finger-combs her hair. Her hand gets tangled in the mess. “Hi. Hello. Did you hear us?”
    He flinches at her drunk shouting. “I was leaving Adam’s. I heard a scream.”
    â€œThat was me! Wow! You should definitely hang out with us for a while, probably. We have whiskey. Can he drink your whiskey, Nov?”
    â€œCassius, I would be utterly delighted if you would come and drink my whiskey so there’s less for this fool.” November sighs.
    He just stands there in the shadows, hands in his pockets.
    Joy’s wobbling. “Okay. I have to pee. Grace. Come with me.”
    She grabs my arm, not November’s. She drags me away into