Free When No One Was Looking by Rosemary Wells Page A

couldn’t possibly have heard. Then after every changeover she waited. Just waited until she was ready to come out. Only ten seconds longer than she should, but it drove me crazy. I tried to keep the ball on her base line. Tried to keep her running back and forth, but I kept hitting it out. Then my serve went—my toss. I started flicking my wrist on my toss. I tried to correct it and I double faulted five times. Then I kept dinking my serve instead of spinning it. I don’t know. It was just suddenly over. She beat me four and three.”
    “Marty give you a rough time?”
    “She glared at me with those eyes of hers and ordered me out of her office, as if I were a stranger.”
    “It just doesn’t make any sense to me,” said Julia, seating herself comfortably beside Kathy. “Do you know that big white whale swims a zillion laps every single morning before eight? Well, in the club swimming meet she lost the fifty yard freestyle by twelve yards to little Betsy Moran. I watched her. Betsy wouldn’t be caught dead up at six in the morning. Betsy’s not afraid of her.”
    “She is a great white whale,” said Kathy slowly, “and she’s got my number too, just like Moby Dick had Captain Ahab’s number in English this year.” Kathy sighed. “Marty’s making me hit with her all next week, just to get her out of my system. You know what Marty said to me later? She said, ‘That big ox has your number, my dear, and I’m the only one allowed to have that.’ ”
    “You know what my mother says about Marty?” Julia began.
    “Oh, Julia, you’ve told me three hundred times already what your mother says about Marty,” Kathy snapped.
    “You want me to leave you alone, Kath?”
    “No. No. I’m sorry I jumped on you. Stay with me.”
    Julia leaned over and picked up a handful of seaweed herself. “People only have your number if you let them, Kathy,” she said, “and boy, do you let them! Jody sure has it. She’s always nicking your corners where it hurts. Marty has it. So does this dumb girl. Even Mrs. Diggins. You said you could never look her in the eye again.”
    “Don’t mention that. You promised not to mention it!”
    “I promised I’d never mention it to anybody else. Jeez Louise, Kathy. You think you’re the very first person in the history of the world who ever bled into something by mistake?”
    “Don’t talk about it. It makes me crawl to think about it. Last time I remembered it, I almost broke a toe kicking a chair.”
    “All right. All right. But, Kathy, wake up! You let everybody who wants it have your number. You let people rip you to pieces. You don’t get even, you get mad, and you take it out on your own insides instead of on the other person. The trouble with you, Kathy, is you have no protective coloring.”
    “Protective what?”
    “Protective coloring. Like the birds and animals in the woods. They never show themselves until they want to. You show all your cards, and everybody gets one up on you. You should tell Jody she’s petty and jealous. You should make it clear to Mrs. Diggins you don’t give a hoot for her sofa. You should make Marty come to you— she’s got no future except you. You should match Ruth’s tricks with your own.”
    “I can’t play tennis like that. I can’t concentrate. As for Marty, she’s the greatest coach in the world for me. She makes me work.”
    Julia heaved a dramatic sigh and blew the air out between her pursed lips slowly. “Gee, Kathy, you must really want it so bad it hurts.”
    “Want what?”
    “To win. To go to the top. Otherwise you wouldn’t put up with all this garbage.”
    Kathy ripped off a new batch of seaweed. “I never thought of it that way,” she said at last. “But you’re right, you know. I do want it that bad. I want to be New England champion this year. I’d run to the North Pole barefoot if it meant I’d win. Stupid, of course, because I don’t have a hope this year. But it’s almost like a taste in my mouth.