Free Measure of Grace by Al Lacy Page B

despair, knowing that this horrendous tragedy was all his fault. If only he not had been so hardheaded and stubborn …
    How am I ever going to live with this?
he asked himself as he rocked in the saddle.
How am I going to face Sylvia and Lorene day after day from now on, knowing that Jordan was mauled by that grizzly because of me? And to add to my guilt, there is no way for closure for them. There is no body to bury … no way for them to say good-bye
.
    Dusk was on the land as William, Mark, and Knight rode up to the Bar-S corral and dismounted. A couple of ranch hands were near, and after answering their questions about the search, William asked them to take care of the three horses. As the three of them headed for the back door of the ranch house, William was rehearsing in his mind what he was going to say to his wife and daughter.
    When they stepped into the kitchen, the women were seated around the empty table. Sylvia slowly raised her eyes to meet her husband’s as Lorene and Annie looked on. The grief etched on William’s face was enough to bear the message, but Sylvia had to ask him.
    Drawing a shallow breath, she said, “Find anything?”
    Scrubbing a palm over his face, William said, “Not a trace.”
    Mark went to Lorene, and Knight went to his mother.
    Rising slowly from the chair, Sylvia blinked at the fresh tears in her eyes. William opened his arms, and she stepped into them, collapsing against his chest. Sobs tore from her lips as she cried, “I can’t believe it! I can’t believe it!”
    William’s rehearsed words suddenly seemed inappropriate, and he dismissed them from his mind.
    Lorene stood up, weeping, and Mark folded her into his arms.
    Annie rose from her chair, and Knight locked her neck in the crook of his arm, holding her tight. As he beheld the sorrow of the Shaw family, he felt his own brand of sorrow. It was more than just the death of his closest friend. It was worse, knowing that Jordan had died without Jesus.
    Annie thought of that, too, and of the many times she and Buck had talked to the Shaws about their need to be saved, but she decided that now was not the time to press them about it again. By previous experience with them on the subject, she knew they were not in a frame of mind to listen to her.
    When Sylvia and Lorene had gained control of their emotions, Mark said, “Lorene, maybe we should postpone the wedding. You know, so as to let the natural period for mourning pass.”
    Moving her head slowly back and forth, Lorene said, “Mark, I don’t think Jordan would want us to postpone it. I really don’t.”
    “I don’t either,” said Sylvia. “And besides, even though you two have chosen to have a small wedding with just family and close friends, so much careful planning has gone into both the ceremony and the reception. Everything is set with the minister and the church in Ketcham, and he went out of his way to schedule it on June 18, which he said ordinarily he would only do just for his members. You remember, Mark.”
    Mark nodded. “Yes. I know he had already planned to take his family over to the Craters of the Moon area for an outing that day. They had set the date back in April. I just thought the three of you might rather put the wedding off a few weeks. But you’re right. Too many things are already set.”
    “Not to mention that relatives on both sides of our family wholive in the Midwest and back East have already purchased railroad tickets,” said Sylvia.
    Mark nodded.
    “You will have to pick out another groomsman to take Jordan’s place, darling,” said Lorene. “But other than that, everything is in place.”
    “I think I’ll ask Bart Collins,” said Mark.
    “Good choice,” said Lorene. “Bart is certainly one of your closest friends. I’m sure he will be honored to do it.”
    As the days passed, Jordan remained in his cell and in chains when Decker and Nolan were away from the cabin. The more time that passed, the more discouraged he