Free The Lady of Secrets by Susan Carroll Page B

Seraphine, she doubted it.
    Meg touched her friend’s hand. “François’s death was not your fault any more than it was Gerard’s. Sometimes all the healing skill nor all the care in the world is enough to protect a child—”
    “So you would be like that priest and tell me what? Thatmy son’s death was the will of God? A matter of fate? What would you know of it anyway? You have never had a child, Meg. Nor are you ever likely to.”
    Meg flinched as though she had been struck, drawing her hand away. Seraphine was instantly contrite.
    “Oh, God, I am sorry, Meggie. I didn’t mean that. You know what I am like when I am hurting, like a wounded she-wolf snarling and snapping at everyone.” She clasped Meg’s hand, squeezing it. “Forgive me.”
    “There is nothing to forgive. I only wish I possessed some sort of potion or balm that could heal your pain.”
    “I fear there is no magical cure for grief. Only the passage of time, or so I am told.” Seraphine released Meg, her expression darkening again. “Gerard had another solution. He felt that we should attempt to have another son. As though I have not tried to give him other heirs. I have the graves of three stillborn babes to prove it. That François lived beyond his infancy seemed a miracle. I don’t think a woman as weak and wicked as I will ever be granted another such blessing.”
    “You are neither wicked nor weak. You have the most fiercely loving heart and you are the strongest woman I have ever met.”
    “You think so, Meg, but in truth I am a miserable coward. I cannot face the prospect of ever burying another child. I told Gerard he should set me aside, find himself a younger, more fertile bride. If he bribed enough church officials, I am sure a dissolution of our marriage could be brought about. I could retire somewhere to a convent and live a life of quiet contemplation and scholarship.”
    Meg nearly choked at the image of Seraphine as a nun. It would be like shutting up a lioness in a pen full of lambs. Seraphine herself was aware of the ridiculousness of the notion.Her lips quivered, and as soon as her eyes met Meg’s, she laughed. Meg could not help joining her. The mirth was a healing thing and it gave Seraphine an excuse to wipe a stray tear from her eye.
    “Perhaps I am not suited for the convent,” she conceded. “But the sad truth is I don’t think I was ever suited to be a wife and mother either. I have no idea what I am fit for.”
    “You have so many wonderful gifts. You are so bold, spirited, and intelligent.”
    “Ah, but we both know I would have been better off if I wasn’t. A quick wit is always more of a curse than a blessing. Intelligence is never valued in a woman.”
    “It is on Faire Isle. I oft think about the night of the choosing, when Ariane named me as her successor. But you were her niece. If I had never come to Faire Isle, she would surely have selected you and you might be so much happier.”
    “Don’t be absurd, Meg. Ariane was far too wise to have ever chosen me. My aunt loved me, but she recognized my flaws far better than you do. I am an impulsive, quick-tempered creature, and I have none of your gifts for healing. It was you who were meant to be the Lady of Faire Isle. A true daughter of the earth, content with your quiet life, spending your days growing your herbs, poring over your books, and teaching the old lore to others. The peace and security of that island is all that you have ever wanted.
    “As for me …” Seraphine shrugged. “I think I would have been better off if I had been born a man. I would have been free to travel, to soldier, or hold an important post in the government. Perhaps I could have accomplished something of value before I die. Or maybe I am just destined to be one of those miserable people who are always restless, never content with their lot.”
    “Oh, ’Phine,” Meg began, but Seraphine cut her off with a quick smile. “No, I am sorry, Meggie. I never meant to