Free The Recycled Citizen by Charlotte MacLeod Page A

one if I have to. My head is bloody but unbowed, in case you hadn’t noticed.”
    “Really?” said Jem. “I’m always so put off by the disgusting general effect that I never notice the details. Bloody but unbowed, you say?”
    While Dolph was trying to think of a sufficiently crushing comeback, Theonia defused the situation. “I have always felt strongly that dear Dolph is the master of his fate and the captain of his soul. Jem, surely you must agree to that?”
    Under duress Jem agreed. The captain of his soul cleared his throat and took charge of the quarterdeck.
    “So as far as I’m concerned, it’s a case of damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead. Redfern says we’re better off not publicizing the will, except for the mandatory announcement of probate; but that won’t hinder us from starting our fund drive, and the sooner the better. Mary wants one section open by Christmas, if it’s humanly possible.”
    “If we don’t, we may find we’ve lost some of our members by Easter.” Mary sighed. “The shelters get filled up so fast, and there are so few rentals available at prices our members can afford. Half of them wind up sleeping in the bus terminals. How soon do you think we can hold our auction, Sarah?”
    “How soon do you want it?”
    “I’d say tomorrow if I could, but I know it’s impossible. I don’t know anything about arranging those swell affairs. What’ll it be, next month sometime?”
    “How about Saturday night?”
    Mary gasped. “This coming Saturday? Are you serious?”
    “I don’t see why not. We’ll call it a secret surprise auction. Goodness knows the patrons will be surprised enough when they see some of that stuff we’re going to sell. I’ll hand-letter an invitation tonight, take it to one of those instant copying places first thing in the morning, and we can have them in the mail tomorrow night if Mr. Loveday has his list together and Theonia will help with the addressing. Uncle Jem, you’ll be auctioneer. I can’t think who could do a better job.”
    “Neither can I,” said Jeremy Kelling, “but I’m supposed to be dining with the Whets Saturday night.”
    “Tell them it’s an emergency situation and that they’re to bring their guests and come along. We’ll serve wine and things. Dolph, you still have all those crates of champagne Great-uncle Frederick ordered for that victory celebration he never got to hold back in 1978 because his candidate lost. It ought to be drunk up, anyway; champagne doesn’t keep long. Theonia, has Mariposa any relatives we can hire to be waiters and runners?”
    “My dear, we shan’t have to hire anyone. Charles knows scads of out-of-work young actors and actresses who’ll be thrilled to do it for a free meal and a chance to mingle with the right people. It would be divine if they could all come in costume.”
    “There are lots of old clothes in the attic,” said Mary. “Gay nineties, roaring twenties, all that stuff the hand-me-down boutiques are peddling nowadays. We could have the actors put on a fashion show and auction off the clothes.”
    “That’s a marvelous idea.” Sarah got up to fetch paper and pencil. “I’ll make a list, like Aunt Emma. And I’ll phone her this evening and tell her to come and bring her orchestra.”
    Emma Kelling did in fact have her own band of musicians. Among the Kellings this was not considered unusual.
    “If I know Aunt Emma, she’ll charter a bus and bring all her friends. That would be lovely.”
    “Provided she leaves Mabel home and doesn’t expect us to pay for the bus,” Dolph grunted.
    “Of course Aunt Emma wouldn’t ask you to pay,” Sarah retorted. “When has she ever? And I’m sure she’ll have the presence of mind to tell Cousin Mabel everybody’s expected to spend wads of money and give a large donation besides. You know Mabel, that will keep her away if anything would. Isn’t it lucky Great-uncle Frederick never went ahead with that notion of his to turn your