Free Redeeming Jack by Kate Pearce Page A

was too young and spoiled to understand how desperate you felt, and too scared to offer you anything but awkward, hackneyed phrases that meant nothing.”
    Carys studied her gloved hands. She hadn’t expected him to broach such a painful subject within five minutes of commencing their journey. Could she return his unexpected honesty with her own? “I was also young. It never occurred to me that you left one bloody battlefield in the Peninsular and came home to deal with another. Between your parents and me, you must have been driven mad.”
    He gripped her fingers. “Christ, Carys, there’s no comparison. You miscarried three babies—
our
babies. I should never have allowed my nightmares about Spain to poison our lives together.” He drew in a breath. “It’s a pitiful excuse, but at the time my life seemed to be filled with the sufferings of people I couldn’t help.” He met her gaze head on. “I walked away from you because I felt useless. I couldn’t bear to see the hurt in your eyes.” He hesitated. “I couldn’t bear the thought that you might die as well.”
    After her frank conversation with Michael Waterstone, Carys felt the first glimmering of an understanding of what Jack had endured. There were so many questions she wanted to ask him, so many small hurts and unresolved issues.
    “Jack, I…”
    Gareth opened one blood shot eye. “Will you two be quiet? I’m trying to sleep.”
    Jack released her hand and turned to stare out of the window. His rigid posture indicated he’d rather not speak again. Carys sighed and searched through her purse for a book. If nobody wished to talk to her, she would console herself with the imaginary world, a far simpler place where everyone lived happily ever after.
    * * *
     
    By the time they stopped for the night at the Castle Inn near Reading, Jack’s affable, smiling mask was back in place. While he flirted with Daisy the serving maid, who showed them into a private parlor, Carys shot him a dangerous glance. He bowed low to the giggling girl when she flounced past him and Carys took the opportunity to stand hard on his foot. His smile disappeared as the door swung shut.
    “Whatever is the matter, Carys?”
    Carys paused and untied her bonnet ribbons. “I’m embarrassed at the spectacle you make of yourself. That girl was young enough to be your daughter.”
    “I’d say she was the age you were when you married me. Are you suggesting she’s too young to know her own mind?”
    Carys tossed her reticule onto the table with a thump. “Are you implying that I was?”
    Jack shrugged and strolled across to the sideboard to pour himself a drink. “You tell me.”
    Gareth took the tankard Jack offered him and glanced at Carys. “Are you two going to spend the entire journey sniping at each other? It makes it very hard on a man’s digestion, literally curdles the stomach. Can you not agree to get along?”
    “My estranged husband is to blame for any unpleasantness, Gareth. You should know that better than anyone. If I remember correctly, he
shot
you when you dared to interfere in his schemes.”
    Gareth glanced nervously at Jack, who stood, arms folded, glaring at Carys. “Er, that’s all forgotten now, my dearest sister. Jack and I have agreed to be friends.”
    Carys marched across the carpet and snatched Jack’s glass from his unresisting fingers. “He
says
he wishes to be friends with me, Gareth, but I’ve seen little sign of it.”
    She lifted the glass to her lips and defiantly swallowed the contents, wheezing in shock as the rough alcohol burned a path down to her stomach. Through teary eyes she stared up at her husband, daring him to laugh.
    Jack reached out and trapped a trickle of brandy at the corner of her mouth with his thumb. “Were we ever friends or only misguided lovers?” He traced her lower lip and she resisted a desire to touch the tip of her tongue to his calloused skin. “Was there ever anything real between us except lust?”
    “I