Free The Keeper by Rosanne Hawke Page A

don’t wait for any more arguments that I can’t win. So much for maturely talking stuff out. I blow it every time. I head for my room, the one place no one follows me. Even if it does look like an ammunition dump, it’s the one place of calm in the midst of a stampede. Weird, Dev too has started to become a place where the horses stay in their stables. If only I could explain to Gran what it’s like when I’m with Dev. Surely she’d see. But she’s only listening to Zoe. It’s Zoe who’s ruining my life.
    None of it could be true, could it? Dev likes me, he’s as good as said. He’s come just for me, he’s come because of the ad. Hasn’t he?

17
    I tell Dev about it in the morning. Almost all about it. I don’t mention that I’m not supposed to see him any more or about the fishing competition. Dev would be the type to pack up and go home for sure if he heard what Gran said. Home . Does Dev have a home? So much I don’t know.
    â€˜I suppose your father’s name is Scott. That’s the name Zoe was throwing around last night. I didn’t know any Scott inside. What’s his surname? Is it the same as yours?’
    My mind goes blank. ‘I – I don’t know. It must be different. Gran and Grandad adopted me.’
    â€˜They wanted you that much, eh?’
    It’s just the way he says it, easy like, but so important. It makes me stare hard and think too. If only Gran could hear Dev when he says things like that. Of course he’s a nice bloke. I push away the heavy wings of Gran’s fear, and grin. ‘Yeah, guess they did.’
    It’s like the sun stands still, these times I spend with Dev. Today is no different and it’s not until I’m on my way home through the reserve when I get to worrying again how to wangle the fishing competition. Mr Houser is organising it again this year. There’s no way he’ll let a kid do it without parental permission. At least I’ve caught some bait to make that special berley Grandad used to freeze up before a big fishing trip. Maybe if I don’t shout and swear at Gran; maybe if I try extra hard to explain what it’s like with Dev, she’ll understand.
    I have a go after tea. ‘Gran, about Dev.’ It’s harder than I bargain for. I can tell what she’s thinking before I even start. She’s watching me like I’m about to pounce, all wary like, with the dirty dishes in her hands. I give it one last shot. ‘He’s okay, really. He likes me. He’s my mate—’
    â€˜Joel, if this is about Saturday, I’m sorry.’ She looks sorry too, sorry and scared but it doesn’t make it any easier.
    â€˜I knew it wouldn’t work – talking. You never listen.’
    â€˜Joel, that’s not true—’ But I’m out of there.
    It’s only later when they think I’m asleep that I hear the drops of conversation like sea spray in an angry wind.
    â€˜. . . too harsh . . .’
    â€˜. . . dangerous . . .’
    And Gran’s light rumble, admonishing, ‘I should’ve told . . . everything . . .’ I shiver, halfway between waking and dreaming. What more could there be? Enough was said today to crumble my whole world into pieces.
    Yet Zoe’s murmur is suddenly hopeful. ‘. . . a way . . . possible . . .’ It almost makes me want to get out of bed and listen harder, but not quite.
    Next day I can’t find Dev. Nor can I ask about him. It’d be sure to get back to Gran somehow. I find myself at Mei’s place instead. Part of me feels mean for neglecting her, for only coming because I can’t see Dev. She knows it too.
    â€˜Not out with Dev today?’
    I stand there for three seconds, then turn. I don’t need this. ‘Wait!’ Mei’s catching at my arm. ‘Don’t be like that. I didn’t mean it.’
    â€˜You did.’
    She shrugs.