Free Mr. Hynde Is Out of His Mind! by Dan Gutman Page A

cleans the soul,” she said as we walked past the art room.
    â€œMaybe you should try taking a bath,” I said.
    Ryan and Michael laughed at my funny joke.
    â€œA.J., you wouldn’t be so mean if you tried singing instead of sitting around watching TV all the time,” Andrea said. “I love to sing. I can sing all the songs from Annie . That’s my favorite movie.”
    Ugh.
    Then Andrea started singing that songabout the sun coming out tomorrow. It was horrible. The police should use Andrea’s singing to punish criminals in jail.
    â€œCan you sing solo?” I asked Andrea when she finally stopped.
    â€œSure I can,” she said.
    â€œThen why don’t you sing so low we can’t hear you?”
    Ryan and Michael cracked up at my funny joke. They are true friends.
    â€œYou’re mean!” Andrea said.
    â€œPlease hold your tongue, A.J.,” said Miss Daisy. Then she told me to be quiet because she knew that I was going to stick my tongue out and hold it.
    Finally we got to the music room. Mr. Loring wasn’t there yet, so Miss Daisy told us to sit on the rug.

    Last year my first-grade teacher told us to sit Indian style, but she got in trouble because some Indian people didn’t like it.So she told us to sit like pretzels instead. Miss Daisy doesn’t tell us to sit like Indians or like pretzels. She just says, “Crisscross applesauce,” which doesn’t mean anything at all.
    I sat in the second row next to Ryan and Michael.
    Andrea and Emily sat in the front row, of course. Miss Daisy said we could talk quietly until Mr. Loring arrived.
    â€œRemember when Mr. Loring had us sing ‘Jingle Bells’?” Michael asked.
    â€œYeah?”
    â€œWhat’s a bobtail?” Michael asked. “You sing ‘bells on bobtail ring,’ but I never knew what a bobtail was.”

    â€œBeats me,” said Ryan.
    â€œI think a bobtail is a kind of car,” I guessed.
    â€œNobody names a car Bobtail,” said Michael.
    â€œBob backward is still Bob,” Ryan said. “And tuna backward is a nut.”
    â€œTuba backward is a butt,” I said.
    â€œI used to have a fish named Fred,” said Ryan.
    â€œWhat does that have to do with bobtails?” asked Michael.
    Nothing,” Ryan said. “I was just thinking about Fred.”
    Suddenly that goody two-shoes Andrea turned around.
    â€œYou boys are dumbheads,” she said. “A bobtail is a little furry animal with a short tail. Everybody knows that.”
    She was probably right, but I don’t like Andrea Young telling me anything. She started singing “Jingle Bells.”
    â€œWho asked you?” I interrupted. “You don’t know anything about music.”
    â€œDo too!” Andrea said, all mad. “I’ve been playing the piano ever since I was four years old.”
    â€œDon’t you get tired?” I asked.
    I thought that was a pretty funny joke, but nobody laughed. Can’t win ’em all.
    â€œI can even play a Beethoven sonata,” Andrea bragged, all proud of herself.
    â€œYou play with Beethoven’s snot?” I said. “That’s disgusting!”
    Andrea got all huffy and turned back around. Why doesn’t a piano fall on her head?
    â€œBoy, Mr. Loring is really late,” Michael said.
    â€œMaybe he died of old age,” said Ryan.
    â€œI think we’re going to die of old age waiting for him,” I said.
    â€œMaybe he bored himself to death,” said Michael.
    â€œYou boys are mean!” said that crybaby Emily. “Mr. Loring is nice !”
    She looked like she was going to cry. What a baby! My mom says that all youhave to do to get some people upset is to look at them sideways. I tried looking at Emily sideways, but she didn’t even notice.
    Miss Daisy told us she was going to the office to see what happened to Mr. Loring. She told us to be on our best behavior while she