Free Looking for Andrew McCarthy by Jenny Colgan Page B

up.
    ‘Sugarcakes,’ said the voice. ‘You know, there’s no trombonist like you.’
    ‘Well, thank fuck for that,’ said Ellie conversationally. ‘Now fuck off please.’
    ‘Hang on, baby.’
    Then came the sound of someone trying to lift a phone and a saxophone at the same time, followed by the sound of a saxophone crashing to the floor and taking a phone with it and, possibly, a vase, followed by extended cursing on both ends of the line as Ellie put the phone down.
    She started shouting at the temp again.
    ‘This is all crap. Cancel it all, chuck it in the bin, and if anyone asks, tell them the phone system’s down but I’m working on it. Oh, and I have a tropical disease.’
    ‘Really,’ said Mr Rooney, walking into her office. ‘You won’t be wanting to go away anywhere then.’
    Ellie jumped up and just stared at him, mouth wide open in shock.
    ‘Do you know,’ he said, plonking his gingery-haired arms on her desk and trying to look caring and concerned, ‘why I came down here?’
    She swallowed heavily.
    ‘Ehm, you’d heard what a joker I was?’ she started nervously. ‘And you wanted to hear if you could catch me in the middle of any hilarious pranks making up phone messages with the temp.’
    ‘No,’ said Mr Rooney. ‘Actually, I came down here to say that if this trip away was so important to youand all your work was squared away, I was going to let you go. Hmm, perhaps an unfortunate turn of phrase …’
    Ellie started turning very red.
    ‘… I was going to allow you to take the leave of absence. However, it appears that your ideas of finishing work and mine are rather different.’
    ‘ Please Sir …’ muttered Ellie, wretchedly.
    He snapped upright.
    ‘Any leave at all you’ve got booked is cancelled until further notice and you can report to personnel to pick up your written warning.’
    She watched him turn around and walk out, absolutely dying inside.
    ‘Why the fuck didn’t you tell me he was on his way in?’ she asked the Temp.
    ‘I was bored and wanted to see what would happen.’
    Ellie idly started throwing pieces of paper around her desk.
    ‘Oh God, oh God, what am I going to do?’ She bit back tears. ‘This is going to fuck up everything.’
    ‘If you walked out I’d get a half-day,’ said the temp.
    ‘Oh, well, I’m hardly about to …’
    She thought for a second. Then she sat down, picked up the phone and dialled nine.
    ‘Arthur, have you ever walked out of a job?’
    ‘Oh, so you’re phoning me up for career advice but when it comes to the really important things in life I’m chopped liver am I?’
    ‘You’re what? Art, I’ve got a bit of a crisis on here.’
    ‘Never mind. Siobhan phoned me. We’ve only got a wedding in our midst and nobody bothered to inform me.’
    ‘Except for Siobhan obviously. Look, do you think …’
    ‘So is Julia getting married or not?’
    ‘She doesn’t know. She wanted our opinion. Our opinions were divided. Happy now? Okay, I want to …’
    ‘Well, I think she should. I don’t think they get any nicer than Loxy, and he has a tush to die for.’
    ‘Good for you. Now PLEASE help me.’
    ‘Oh well, seeing as you’re begging.’
    ‘Arthur, my boss just caught me misbehaving and he won’t let me go away.’
    ‘Oh no!’ Arthur was sympathetic, with a touch of natural fascination. ‘What did you do? Were you getting it on with the stockboy in the stationery cupboard?’
    ‘No, Arthur, that was you.’
    ‘Oh, so it was. Oh well. I hated that job.’
    Actually, Arthur had a tendency to make upencounters like this, otherwise the others teased him for being a married man.
    ‘I hate this job,’ said Ellie defeatedly, kicking the toe of her shoe against the rubbish bin. There was a silence.
    ‘You know,’ said Arthur, ‘you were going on and on about trying to get out of your rut.’
    ‘Yes, but I wasn’t planning to go directly from the rut to “do you want fries with that?”’
    ‘Well,’ said