Free Gertie's Paranormal Plantation: A Paranormal Romantic Comedy by Melanie James Page B

fit it onto my hair. “Now it’s perfect.”
    I turned my head slightly left and then right while I looked in the mirror. “I think the tiara is a bit over the top.” Randy’s hands were still hovering in place as if I had an invisible force field around my head.
    “Over the top? Look around you. Everything we do is over the top. You live in a paranormal plantation that’s decked out like a nuthouse for clowns. I could make you a cape out of that neon orange shag rug and you’d still look perfect for this place.” Randy went over to my dresser and picked through some costume jewelry that I had left out. “Stand up and turn around.” He placed a silver necklace festooned with cubic zirconia around my neck. “Almost there, just put these diamond studs in and you are good to go. I do believe we set some sort of speed dressing record. Don’t forget a pair of black heels to complete the ensemble.”
    “Thank you so much, Randy. You’re a lifesaver.” I gave him a peck on the cheek and returned to Brad.
    Brad popped to attention upon my entrance. “Holy cow! You look fantastic! Absolutely gorgeous.”
    “Thank you, your flattery will most definitely pay off. To be honest, I can’t remember the last time I wore anything black. I feel like I’m ready for a date with the undertaker.” I winked, quickly putting a few things in a small clutch to take along. With my broom in hand, we were whisked away to my designated French Quarter arrival location on Pirate Alley.
    Brad took me by the hand as we strolled through the evening shadows of the Saint Louis Cathedral. The warm day gave away to a crisp cool evening. “You know, Gertie. I do believe that New Orleans is fast becoming my favorite city. And I like the country life out by Bayou Lafourche even more.” He led me to one of the white horse-drawn carriages that normally line up by Jackson Square. I’m pretty sure Brad enjoyed romancing me as much as I enjoyed being romanced.
    I was grinning like a chimp in a banana boat. All of my worries were gone because it all became clear to me. Brad was setting things up for his proposal. And from his remarks about New Orleans and Lafourche Parish, it was obvious that his plans included making our home in Louisiana.

Chapter Eleven
    A Trip to the ER
    Now I’m not sure where Brad gets his unique romantic ideas from, and I certainly do appreciate a novel approach to things, but that sort of style comes with its own risks. And I was about to learn it firsthand.
    The secluded table became our cozy little candlelit corner of heaven. “Gertie, have some more wine.” Brad had taken my glass and filled it half way.
    “You know I’m not much of a drinker, but if you insist. I always feel a little dumb when people are talking about all the different kinds of wine. It’s almost like they are talking about gourmet food. And some people are downright snooty about it.”
    Brad nodded in agreement. “Oh, I know exactly what you mean. People start talking about chardonnay, merlot, Bordeaux…eshh. Hipster wine lingo. It’s all Greek to me.”
    “French I think. Pretty sure.”
    Brad was laughing. “No, just a figure of speech. But you’re right, those are French words.”
    “Oh, did I tell you about what I learned last fall about shopping for wine? The wine shops in Chicago have a great idea to help people like me. They have a wine expert that sits out in front of the store. For a few dollars he’ll go in with you and tell you exactly which wines are the best deal and taste the best. It’s like having your personal wine connoisseur. Only, they don’t use an elegant French word, they just call him a wino.”
    “Ha ha. Okay. I guess that’s the person to ask if you really want to drink for effect. Have another sip, Gertie.”
    As I sipped, I heard a mysterious and magical melody being whistled in Broussard’s courtyard. It was very familiar. I glanced out of the window and there in the moonlight was Vasili. “Spluth.” I