Free Boo Hiss by Rene Gutteridge Page B

found Bob.” He tore his gaze away from the door and looked at Ainsley. “And Fred.”
    “The snake?”
    He hushed her with his hands. “It was curled up in there when I went to get Melb a cool washcloth. I shut the door.” Oliver looked like he was having a heart attack. He wiped the sweat off his forehead. “I swear it was all I could do not to scream, but Melb was acting so crazy as it was, I knew I had to stay in control.”
    Her fingers found her mouth. “Is it still in there?”
    He nodded somberly. “I’ve got to figure out a way to get the snake out without Melb knowing about it, or she’ll really flip. But I can’t get her to go anywhere or do anything. The only two places she’ll go is to the kitchen and then back to the couch.”
    Ainsley couldn’t stop looking at the hallway. She could already feel her skin crawling. But by the looks of it, she was the most level-headed person of the two of them, so she tried her best to remain calm.
    Oliver, on the other hand, was clawing at his neck and profusely sweating. “But I don’t know if I can take spending the night here knowing that snake is in the closet! It was so horrible, I can’t even describe it. It’s two heads …”
    Ainsley felt her knees grow weak. “It’s two heads did what?” she whispered.
    “Nothing, really. But it was still horrible.” Oliver shuddered. He was grabbing his chest. “I don’t know if I can take another moment of this kind of drama!”
    “Good news!” Dr. Hoover called as his white hair appeared from the shadowy hallway, followed by the rest of him.
    “She’s faking it?” Oliver asked.
    “Faking it? No, no. It’s quite real.”
    “What’s wrong with her?”
    Dr. Hoover had a strange twinkle in his eye. “Well, Oliver, I haven’t told Melb yet. I thought you’d like to have that honor.”
    Oliver looked completely exhausted. “Are you serious? I thought it was always the doctor that broke the bad news.”
    “But this is good news. Oliver, you’re going to be a father.”
    Ainsley’s jaw dropped, and, at the same time as Dr. Hoover, she noticed Oliver was swaying and looking pale. They each grabbed an arm and led him to the couch.
    “Melb’s pregnant?” Oliver said, his voice as high as a little girl’s.
    Dr. Hoover gave a hefty nod. “There’s no doubt about it. I did two tests.”
    Oliver’s bloodshot eyes stared at the carpet, both hands shaking as they lay in his lap. Ainsley touched his shoulder. “Oliver, are you okay?”
    “Give me a minute,” he mumbled.
    Dr. Hoover stood and offered Oliver a congratulatory handshake, which he barely managed to return. “I must be off now. I told Melb to rest for a few minutes on the bed. She was right. The tongue depressor dance didn’t go over well. But she should be ready for your exciting news very soon.” Dr. Hoover plopped his hat on his head and walked out the door, humming a nursery rhyme.
    Ainsley turned to Oliver, not sure if she should offer comfort or congratulations. And at this point, she wasn’t sure what had brought the terror to his eyes. Was he still thinking about the snake? Or was he processing the idea that he was going to be a parent?
    Before she had time to offer any consolation or advice, they heard the flip-flopping of house shoes against the wood floors—Melb was coming toward them from the hallway.
    “Well?” she flared. “Where’s the doctor? What’d he say?” She still had a washcloth atop her head.
    Oliver popped up from the couch, quite unsteadily. His cheeks were flushed to a bright pink, and he was smiling so tightly Ainsley could actually hear his teeth grinding.
    “Darling,” he managed.
    Melb eyed him but continued her plodding toward the couch. She sat down and covered herself with an afghan. “Well? What is it?” she snapped. “All he would tell me was that it was my fault, and I should be more careful. If that doctor knew how many antibacterial soaps I go through in a month, he wouldn’t be so