Free Next to You (Life) by Claudia Y. Burgoa Page B

my gaze, I find Buddy who nods when our gazes meet. He slides into the black leather couch, tosses his head back and like the boss he thinks he is, puts his leather boots on the coffee table.
    “Friday, nine o’clock at night and you’re working,” he says, and gives me a disapproving glare. “You still sad because your little princess left?” Buddy puts his feet down and reaches for the silver frame with several pictures of Becca and me from our multiple trips. “She sent you a package, it’s sitting outside on top of Betsy’s desk. Hopefully food, because those darn mittens she sent you are the crappiest things I’ve ever seen. Miss my Baby Girl. Do you know when she’s coming home?”
    Home? That word makes me wonder where she’ll go after Geneva. Three weeks, not long for her to come up with a plan. Her house has been across the hall from mine since she finished college. Well, up until the accident in Aspen when I decided it was time to take her home where she belonged—with me. I hope her future plans don’t include living across from me. That apartment is gone, my crew tore it apart, along with my own place and they’ll be building four different penthouses.
    “Uh, he misses his girl.” Buddy’s mocking sound is going to give me an ulcer if he continues. I miss her, but not the one who turned into a whacked up job, I miss the one who fought me at every turn but loved my bossy ways—as she called them. Becca’s happy smiles filled with love, eager to see what would be our next adventure and overcoming adversity. “She might never come back.”
    The boiling rage begins to cripple from the bottom of my feet all the way to my neck. “Don’t go there, Buddy, not today.” He frowns, as if expecting some kind of explanation. “I went to visit fucking Dr. Williams on Monday and the man didn’t do shit.” Consumed by the flaming heat the doctor’s words created, I avoided everything and everyone for a week, except work. “Forget, move on, second chance… is that too much to ask for?”
    “Did you forget what happened back then?” Buddy pushes himself out of the couch and walks toward the chair in front of my desk, sitting down there. “Recounting the events briefly… we had to escape the house before we faced the same fate the older boys did. Then Gus, one of our former foster brothers ended up with a gang and decided we should join, you had to choose between him and our survival.” He touches his temple. “Fresh, as if my brother almost went to jail because he defended himself and me.” His last words are deafening. “A hard move, Dan. Remember those moments, self-preservation and all. I’ll be eternally in your debt for getting us out of that house, keeping us out of trouble even when we weren’t saints; then for choosing to live and defending me. Now think about her. First, ask yourself if you want to forget her and all that you’ve shared with her.” He pauses, tilting his head. “Becca chose surviving. Don’t be hard on her. Yes, you cleaned up your act and here you are… but that’s why you try to control everything and everyone, Daniel. Remember, we don’t live in the ghetto anymore. We’re not running away from the system or gangs or… You were a child that tried his best to keep us in line. I wasn’t your responsibility, but you became that big brother that I’ll always love. Have you thought what would have happened if she hadn’t chosen to survive?” I feel how my blood freezes and I can’t move for a moment or two. “Exactly, I would be watching you waste yourself away because she wouldn’t come back—ever. Let her do her thing, big brother.”
    There is a sudden silence in the room, I stand up and turn to the window, staring at the horizon when suddenly he retakes the conversation. “You know what else, you should tell her about our past.” My body turns one hundred and eighty degrees after that statement. Becca thinks I’m perfect, why would I… she is