Free A Bird on a Windowsill by Laura Miller Page A

imagine he is.
    “Eben.”
    Vannah comes into the room, instantly halting our conversation.
    I stand up. I don’t know what makes me do it; I just do. And I get a good look at her, although I try to be subtle about it. It’s as if she grew up over night. She looks different somehow. She’s got on painted-on jeans and a black tee shirt tied at her waist. The shirt has a V-necked collar, and she’s wearing a gold necklace that doesn’t end before the shirt begins. I swallow and try not to give away to anybody—especially her uncle—that I’d like to see where that gold chain leads.
    “You ready?” she asks.
    “Yeah,” I say, refitting my cap back over my head.
    “Take care of her,” Lester says, holding out his hand.
    I meet his with mine. He squeezes my hand harder than his usual handshake, and I can tell he makes sure to look me in the eye, until I feel uncomfortable.
    “I will,” I promise him.
    “Oh, come on,” Vannah says, grabbing my arm. “We’re just going down the way.”
    Vannah drags me to the door and then turns back.
    “I’ll be back soon, Uncle Les.”
    Lester looks down at the floor briefly and then returns with a smile on his face. “You guys have fun.”
    I notice Vannah smile back at him, right before she pulls me out the door.
    And once we’re out on the porch, she stops and eyes me up and down.
    “You look nice.”
    I feel my cheeks growing a little hot. “Thanks. You...uh, you look grown up.”
    She gives me a sideways smile. It makes me laugh.
    “It looks good on you,” I add.
    She bites her bottom lip and then takes the few steps down to the stone walk. “Thanks,” she says, turning back toward me.
    The edges of my mouth slowly curve up, and after a moment of just standing there, trying to convince myself she’s real and that she’s really here, I follow after her.
    “So, what were you guys talking about?”
    “Oh. Just stuff.”
    She nods, seemingly satisfied with my answer.
    “Your uncle’s pretty cool.”
    “Yeah, he is.”
    She stops in front of the passenger’s door.
    “Still got it, huh?”
    She’s looking at my truck.
    “Yep, never sellin’ her.”
    I open her door for her, and not only because it’s the right thing to do, but also because the damn thumb button is as hard as hell to get down. Vannah knows this, which is also why she never even tries.
    I step back, and she climbs right in. And I gently close the door behind her.
    “So, where are we headed?” I ask, once I get behind the wheel.
    “I want to see the moon.” She smiles out the passenger’s window.
    “Okay,” I whisper.
    That’s all I say. And we head toward Hogan’s slab.
     

     
    “T ake me back, Eben.”
    We’re sitting on the slab, dangling our legs over the edge. The concrete is warm, and the sound of the water pushing underneath the slab is filling the air around us.
    “Back?”
    “Yeah,” she says, sticking little white wildflowers into her hair, “to when we could change it all. Rewind time. Make me see that I liked you at eleven, twelve, thirteen. Make me tell you that I liked you under those stairs that day that you chickened out.”
    “What?”
    She turns to me. “I knew, Eben. I knew that’s what you were going to say.”
    I lower my eyes and smile, letting seconds fall to the water under our feet. I don’t know whether to be shocked or embarrassed.
    “Why didn’t you say anything?”
    “I don’t know.” She shrugs. “I didn’t know if you had changed your mind at the last second. I figured if you liked me enough, you’d tell me, eventually.”
    “Wait. You liked me?”
    She smiles and looks my way. “The ham and cheese sandwiches didn’t give it away?”
    I feel my jaw go slack, as my mouth hangs open.
    “Vannah, this whole time... Are you telling me this whole time, we could have been together? Like really been together?”
    She shrugs.
    I feel a breath escape my lungs as I refit my Cardinals cap over my head.
    “But why can’t we now?”
    “I