Free Cressida's Dilemma by Beverley Oakley Page A

shows such a capacity for understanding.”
    Even now, Cressida couldn’t quite understand her reasons, though she recalled that at the time, she’d been fueled by fear and obedience. Four nights ago had been no different. “My mother-in-law told me it was my duty never to question my husband and to deny him nothing. Little Thomas is our only son, and being such a sickly child, she reminded me that I must ensure more sons in the nursery.”
    “But not every year! How many children did you say you had?”
    “Five. A child for almost every year we’ve been married. Then, when our youngest was only a few months old, I started making excuses to my husband each time he—” Dabbing at the fresh tears that ran down her cheeks, Cressida stood up. “I must go! I was a fool to come here. I have friends who have nurseries larger than mine and, no doubt, far more satisfied husbands, so of course mine is perfectly justified—”
    “Stop!” Arresting her retreat with a stern frown, her friend went on. “You say you love your husband.”
    “I adore him—”
    “Yet you cannot speak to him of your fears?”
    “What do wives know of such things?” Despairingly, Cressida continued, supporting herself on the back of the sofa, “My mother died when I was a child. Whom can I ask? No one told me what to expect on my wedding night, much less—” Taking a deep, sustaining breath, she calmed herself. “Do you have children?” she asked the woman.
    Her new friend certainly inferred that she knew a lot more about minimizing their likelihood than Cressida did. And she must be ‘experienced’, otherwise she’d not be here.
    She thought Miss Mariah had not heard, for she appeared distracted as she fiddled with the tassels of the brocade curtain. “No,” she said finally.
    “But you’ve had lovers?” Cressida heard the desperate note in her voice, as if pleading for the two to be compatible. How pathetic she must seem. This was a fool’s errand. “I’m sorry. That was impolite of me.” She clasped her reticule, straightened, and took a step toward the door.
    “Home, to your children?” A smile hovered about Miss Mariah’s mouth as she fixed Cressida with a level stare. “Or to find your husband and explain what is at the root of your troubles? If he is as considerate as it would appear, I think your frankness will not go unrewarded.”
    Cressida winced. “My youngest is teething—” she mumbled.
    “With a competent nursery maid. I’ll wager your husband needs you more. Listen to me. I know all about husbands, too. I was married for many years, and I can assure you that husbands and lovers are no different where a desirable woman is concerned.” With an incisive look she asked, “I am curious. If you had found your husband here, in the arms of his mistress, do you think your feelings for him would survive the trauma? Yes, I know straying husbands are a matter of course, but it is easier to ignore and forgive what is not presented to you on a platter.”
    Through gritted teeth, Cressida maintained what she truly believed. “I will always love him, for if he’d strayed, I’d know it was only because I’d driven him to it.”
    She’d reached the door and now turned, hurt and angered by the smile on Miss Mariah’s face. “You think it’s not true? I’ve had time to reflect, and I’ve been reminded of my duty. Women like me have no choice but to be compliant wives if we want to trade in happiness. I am going home to wait for my husband and to do whatever is required so that he will never seek diversion elsewhere. I shall return to reclaim his heart.” Lowering the veil of her bonnet, she put out her hand. “You have been patient, listening to my foolishness. You talk of sacrifices not being required, but I am not—” She swallowed. “That kind of woman. Women like me must honor our marriage vows in return for comfort and security. We have an obligation to our husbands, and I’m about to fulfill mine,