Free Dust by Mandy Harbin Page A

you're more qualified to answer that."
    There went that pencil, scribbling something that would go in my permanent file. I wanted to reach across his desk, snatch it away, and break it.
    "You know what I mean, Killian," he finally said. Yeah, I knew what he meant, but I never knew how to answer his questions. This had been our song and dance from the beginning. I saw no reason to change it.
    "I'm not sure that I do, Mr. Noble. If I guess incorrectly and start rambling on about something unrelated to what you intended, then you'll start writing something in that notebook, and then hone in on why I mentioned something that I could've avoided. I like it better when you're specific. No room for error then."
    Without looking up at me, he said, "There are never any wrong answers in here."
    Damn. I knew that, too.
    When I didn't say anything, he looked up. "I only ask questions to get you talking about things you prefer to avoid. Addressing those issues is why we're here. If you're compelled to talk about something, it's never wrong."
    "I always want to talk. You know it's part of my hyperactivity. It's easier for me to fill the silence than fight that urge."
    He smiled. "I know. But this is really twofold. When you talk about things you'd rather not, you're working through stuff that bothers you. When you're being quiet, fighting the urge as you say, you're working on the hyperactive part of your personality. Progress doesn't have to be major to be made."
    I so didn't like this man. Especially when he was right. "Things are fine at school. Really," I finally answer.
    He looked down at his notebook, jotted something, and then focused on me. "Have you had any interactions with Gabriel?"
    I sighed. "Yeah, but not the physical kind. He was at the fundraiser last weekend."
    "Did he do or say anything to provoke you?"
    "Always."
    He looked wary. "Did anything happen?"
    "No. He's an asshole. I know he is, and I know there's nothing I can do to change that. Believe me, Mr. Noble, I learned my lesson." I would do my best to never be provoked by him again. That didn't mean I didn't want to hurt him in the worst way, but deep down, I knew Gabe wasn't worth it. At least not worth damaging my education when I was this close to being finished. Now after graduation...that was a different story. No way was I going to put up with his shit if he started anything once school was over. But I hoped I'd never see him afterward. If I didn't, problem solved.
    "So you were the bigger man. Good."
    "Being the bigger man sucks."
    He chuckled. "I know. But it's part of being an adult."
    "Being an adult doesn't automatically make you good.” My father had been one sadistic son of a bitch. Age hadn't quelled his immoral tendencies at all.
    "Your father was a bipolar man off of his medication. I've read reports that also suggested he was an undiagnosed schizophrenic. That doesn't make him evil. It makes him a sick man who didn't seek out the help he needed."
    We'd talked about this before. It didn't change what I'd been through. "Don't sugarcoat him to me. I know how he was."
    He leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest. "The point is, you are not him. You are your own man. The best way to exorcise your demons is to realize you control who you'll become. Not him."
    It sounded nice and all, but I just didn't agree with him. Not completely. Yeah, I controlled who I was, but I was able to do that by understanding who I'd come from. That man's blood was in my veins. I was created by him. I could never forget that.
    "Was your mother evil?"
    I glared at him. "No. She was wonderful. She had her problems, but she was a beautiful, compassionate woman. Just because she got mixed up with that man doesn't mean she was like him."
    "Exactly."
    My shoulders slumped. "I see what you're getting at. But I—"
    "No, Killian. You don't understand. It takes two people to make a baby. She's as much a part of you as he is. Why are you so focused on your father's role in creating