rose bushes in the side garden to block the wind. Dottie and Evie were on the porch swapping off a fussy Arlee as Madeline finished up coffee and tea.
âShe likes me better,â Evie said to Dottie.
âWell, that would be a miracle, now wouldnât it?â Dottie shot back.
I took Arlee from the squabbling sisters and went upstairs to feed her. I listened to the slamming of car doors and the murmurs of mourners as they filed into the side garden and into Grandâs house. Arlee sucked and purred for a while before she fell asleep, her open mouth still on my nipple. I put her to nap in her crib and paced back to our bedroom, not ready to go downstairs and face my guests.
I looked out of our bedroom window toward Daddyâs house and saw a car parked in back of Stellaâs car. It looked familiar. Then I remembered Stellaâs sister, Grace, who had come to take Stella away shortly after Daddy died. Was she back to take her away, again?
âFlorine, do you have more cream for the coffee?â Madeline called.
âYes,â I called back, and I joined the people celebrating Samâs life.
Most people left within an hour, but the captains of the
Boden
and the
Celeste
, along with Bert, Bud, and Billy, sat in the side yard and drank up all the beer so we wouldnât have to do it later.
At midnight, my exhausted and half-drunk husband left our bed. Through half-raised lids, I watched him pull on his jeans.
âYou going for a walk?â I said. âYou all right? Want me to get up?â
âNo. Go back to sleep. Weâre going out to sea,â he said. âWe wonât be long.â
âDoes Ida know?â I whispered.
âSheâs coming along,â Bud said. âBertâs taking the family out.â
âWhy didnât you tell me?â
âI figured youâd be better off here with the baby.â
It made me grumpy that he had left me out, but I let that go, and when he bent down to me, I put my hands on either side of his face and gave him a long, deep kiss. He snuck downstairs and out the door. I drowsed and listened until I heard the
Maddie Dee
âs motor start up. Bert put her into gear and she chugged toward the ocean.
âGoodbye, Sam,â I whispered, and I went back to sleep.
Sometime later that night, I woke up. My breasts were full, but my baby hadnât cried. Crap, I thought, Iâll have to wake her up. I settled back into the mattress for a sleepy minute. As I lay there, I heard a man singing. I got up and went into Arleeâs room. No baby. My heart thumped as I stood at the top of the stairs and took in the voice downstairs. It sounded like Bud, although Iâd never heard him sing. I tiptoed down the stairs and through the house. As I moved closer to the porch, where he sat rocking, I caught the words to the tune he was singing to his daughter.
âWhoâs that knocking at my door?
Whoâs that knocking at my door?â
Said the fair young maiden.
âItâs only me from over the sea,â
Says Barnacle Bill the Sailor . . .
âMy ass is tight, my temperâs raw,â
Says Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
âIâm so wound up Iâm afraid to stop,
Iâm looking for meat or Iâm going to pop,
A rag, a bone with a cherry on top,â
Says Barnacle Bill the sailor.
I peeped over the rocker to see that Arlee was wide-eyed and awake, watching him. I put my hand on his left shoulder.
âNice song,â I said.
âItâs my lullaby,â Bud said. âSam used to sing it to me.â I settled in my rocker while Bud went through every verse of âBarnacle Bill the Sailorâ before handing Arlee to me.
âI think her hair is curlier, after that,â I said, lifting my T-shirt to feed her.
He shrugged. âNothing wrong with that,â he said. âNothing at all.â
The next morning I noticed that the car in Stellaâs driveway