Free Letters to Dandelion by Xve Page B

refreshing,
    and just as missed.
     
    With the same outcome
    of wondering.
     
    Just what was that
    all about?

    Kristi – I miss your beautiful face,
    your smile, and your melting kisses.
     
    I’m sorry – but you have the power to forgive me, and allow
me to be
    a human being
with the faults
    that I never tried
to hide,.
     
    Are you a breeze?
     
    Light and easily caressing?
     
    Or are you’re a typhoon?
    Harsh and punishingly
    judgmental?
     
    Even so –
     
    I miss you
    just the same.

Vain
     
    I waited
    anticipated
    in vain,
    for a chance
    to tell her who
    I was.
     
    Timing is everything
    and the time just never
    was on my side,
    because my insides
    throbbed, every time
    I wished to speak,
    but was told about her
    past relationships,
    desires to do porn
    and other things that
    just couldn’t add up.
     
    I called her a Princess,
    because, she spoke
    like one, looked like
    one and is one,
    just one who had the
    wrong knights in her
    life,
    which led to nights
    such as these.
     
    While on the other
    side of the world, my
    life spiraled in the
    whirlpool way that it
    always had.
     
    I drowned a little in
    her words and her eyes
    and her smile and her
    kisses. I felt the sun
    for a second in her
    touch and her promises,
    Then I saw the storm in
    the inevitable end.
     
    How some trips are
    better off not taken.
    Where the end is revealed
    in a parallel not seen, and
    a pain to the chest
     of the broken.
     
    I watched her walk away,
    in the dark, like a struck
    match with fire of her
    hair.
     
    Spewing lies about my
     intentions and after
    insulting my whole persona.
     
    I struck back, but I shouldn’t
    have.  The writer in me with
    the sharpen words is always
    too eager to hurt and then
    the soft words are ignored.
     
    Nothing will fix or save this,
    I guess.
     
    Nothing can clean this mess,
    of this beautiful woman, who
    came and went, like a shadow.
     
    I’m just typing, and realizing,
    my loss, but I knew I was in
    the wrong basket anyway.
     
    It may sound confusing, because
    I am confused, but no one cares
    about my thoughts.
     
     
    I just wish she knew, that I didn’t
    start that night off, to end it
    that way.
     
    I just wish she knew, how beautiful
    she is, and how much I wanted
    to reveal the good sides of who I
    am.
     
    Anything good is wrapped in tough
    protective covering, and that cover
    gets dirty, torn, beaten, but it
    protects the good, until it is opened.
     
    I can’t type a ladder of words back
    to that night, or that moment, or
    back to her arms.
     
    My powers are limited only to the
    next day, and in clarity to say,
    I’m sorry, but sorry is a lonely
    word.
     
    Her heart was turned off from me
    long ago I feel.
    I wanted just to either rediscover,
    of end things civil.
     
    I don’t think you will read this.
    But, Karma knows … I tried.

 
    The Whites of Her
Eyes …
     
    I’m not going to look, or seek, or search.
    The doors to my heart will eventually close.
    The energy of my desire will turn –
    as will my focus sharpen towards inner goals.
     
    As someone told me –
    “Let the bird land upon your finger.”
     
    Others have said –
    “Things happen when you least expect.”
     
    I’ve even written about chasing a bubble,
    and have told God himself,
    He can not condemn me for something
he is not willing to help me with.
     
    I was born with an uncanny birth defect –
    That I have no beating heart at all.
    Why?
    Oh, how sad !
     
    And all types of simpatico bullshit you
    might say –
     
    But, if you didn’t know me,
    you might call me an insensitive monster,
    or cursed, or worse.
    But, it’s better you don’t know me.
     
    There’s less for you to judge.
    And, even less for me to say.
    Practically nothing for me to care about,
    based upon your reaction.
No opinion which to sway.
     
    I may be missing something,
    I disagree.
    So many swear they are happy –
    But, I challenge that equation based on reality.
    It’s a bold, cold statement, this is true,