Free Tainted Love: contemporary womens fiction love story and family saga (Behind Closed Doors Book 1) by Erin Cawood Page B

a promise tonight’, but that’s never happened to Cal and me.
    Except during pregnancies, even during some of our meanest arguments, he'd get that twinkle in his eye. You're a good looking guy, D, maybe you've seen it? It's the one that says, "Goddamn! You're irresistible!” And I'd find myself swept up in a tidal wave of passion before I even knew what was going on. Sorry if I’m making you feel a little uncomfortable, we don’t usually talk about this kind of thing.
    And we’re not going to.
    After Dylan, Cal and I argued. Or rather, he argued and I listened, agreeing in the right places, or disagreeing in the right places, because I knew one step out of line would tip him and I'd pay. He loved me. I knew he loved me. It was just that this was extra hard for him. He told me this was extra hard on him. I stayed closed off from the rest of the world but he had to go to work. He had to run the family business. The McKenzie Medical Center was in half a dozen cities now. He couldn't sit around and mope, like me.
    So I sat there, night after night, looking at him as he prowled the bedroom like a caged bear. I was his meal but he never once approached me, never once touched me, and never once looked at me. Cal had found himself another woman. Didn't he think I knew?
    If you're ever foolish enough to cheat on your future wife when you finally meet her, D, then don't say I haven't warned you. A wife knows these things. It’s A, whether she chooses to accept it, and B, whether she chooses to do anything about it. In my case, I accepted it. He needed time to heal. He needed something more than I could give. So no, I didn’t do anything about it.
    He thought he was being discreet but I’d developed a sixth sense. I’d become so attuned to his every expression, his every moment, his every sound, his every breath, his every scent, his every touch, that I knew the very day she appeared. It was on our fourteenth wedding anniversary and he didn’t think I’d notice?
    He smiled to himself, spending a lot of time on the phone in the study “working”. His cologne would have a hint of jasmine when he came home from work that wasn’t there when he left in the morning. You know she had red hair, wore red lipstick, and wore cheap red underwear he tried to pass off as mine. I've never owned a pair of red lace briefs in my life, and at thirteen, neither had Georgia!
    Did I care he was having an affair? I told myself I didn't. It was his way of dealing with everything that had happened, and he'd see sense and finish it soon. But as time passed, there was no end in sight. I ended up reminding myself while his mystery woman kept him happy, I was free from harm. The kids seemed so much happier, we weren't arguing, and even you mentioned how nice things seemed to be at home. I told myself it was fine but it wasn't. How could he do that to me? He left me completely and utterly alone.
    Of course it crossed my mind to seek comfort elsewhere. Well, if it was good enough for him? But I didn’t want anyone else. I wanted my husband! I wanted him to tell me that he didn’t blame me for...Dylan’s death. I wanted him to tell me that we’d get through this, because I no longer believed we would.
    I wanted the picture perfect family everyone else saw because behind that pretty picture, my husband had replaced me. This woman, the redhead, was doing my job. Cal resented me so much he’d found someone else, and now he preferred her. I was losing him, and knowing the truth broke my heart.
    I didn’t know how or why it happened at the time but the day the affair ended I knew about it. Oh boy, did Cal let me know! It was our fifteenth wedding anniversary. There was no card that morning when he left for work and I certainly didn’t expect one when he came home. I’d left him one on his bedside table when he was in the shower. He didn’t open it.
    It was a miserable June day. It suited my mood, really. I should have been enjoying my lovely new