Free The Flower Arrangement by Ella Griffin Page B

hear him—“I’m gay.”
    She wondered for a moment if she was still asleep upstairs. If the whole morning had been a dream that she was about to wake up from. Then the kitchen filled with an earsplitting shriek. For a shocked second she thought the noise was coming from her, then she realized it was the smoke alarm.
    She stood up and went to the cooker, turned off the gas and covered the smoking pan with a lid. When she turned around, Michael was on his feet following her, but she shook her head and he stopped where he was. They stood looking at one another across the small kitchen through the wall of noise that shook the air between them.
    Michael’s face began to crumple as he sat again. She had never seen him cry, not even when they lost Ryan. His lips were moving but she couldn’t hear what he was saying, then suddenly the alarm stopped.
    â€œI don’t want to hurt you, but I can’t stand the lies and the deceit anymore.”
    â€œI don’t understand,” she whispered. “If you’re gay, why did you marry me?”
    â€œBecause I love you. Because you are the most beautiful, kind person I’ve ever met. And because I wasn’t sure that I
was
gay, not completely.And I didn’t want to be. All I wanted was to be with you. For us to have a life together, a family.”
    His words flew around her, like shards of something solid that had been blown apart and could not be put back together again.
    His eyes were brimming with tears. “We tried so hard for those three years and it just didn’t happen. I knew I had to tell you, but then you got pregnant. After Ryan died, I couldn’t walk away from you. You were so lost. And when you walked out of Green Sea to start the flower shop, I was afraid it would all come crashing down around you. I had to stay, I had to look after you.”
    Lara wrapped her arms around her chest as if she could hold on to the baby she had imagined a few minutes ago. “We could still try. And if it happened, we could stay together, bring a child up together as friends.”
    â€œThere’s something else, Lara.” Michael put his hand over his eyes as if he couldn’t bear to look at her. “Someone else.”
    Even as she waited for him to speak, she knew who it was.
    â€œIt’s Glen.” Glen, who had befriended Lara, brought her croissants and coffee, complained that there were no eligible men in Dublin.
    â€œNothing has happened between us—I swear I would never betray you like that—but it’s made me realize that I can’t give you what you need.”
    It came back, then, what Michael had kept saying after Ryan had died. That it had happened for a reason. Now Lara knew what that reason was. Michael had never wanted Ryan in the first place, not really. Having a child might have stopped him from leaving her. She turned away. “I have to go.”
    â€œWhere?”
    â€œTo the hospital. To the shop. I don’t know. I’ll pack some things.”
    â€œIf one of us is moving out, it should be me!” Michael stood up.
    â€œNo!” She could not bear to be left in the house they had poured so much love into. It was like their marriage, a beautiful, carefully constructed lie.
    Somehow she managed to climb the stairs to the bedroom. She pulled off the nightdress and hauled on a long jersey skirt, a T-shirt, a cardigan, socks, her leather boots. She filled a carry-on case. Michael was waiting in the hall when she came downstairs. He made as if to put his arms around her, but she shook her head and he stepped back.
    â€œWhere will you go?” His face was chalky, his eyes were red-rimmed.
    â€œI’ll go to Dad’s. He’ll be in the hospital till Tuesday.”
    But her dad didn’t come out of the hospital on Tuesday. The cancer had spread. He had less than a month to live.
    *   *   *
    Lara pushed Michael out of her mind. She spent every