Free Simply Pleasure by Kate Pearce Page A

to fuck me. I miss you.”
    â€œAnd I miss the Peter you used to be. The one who stood by me and gave me hope.”
    â€œI haven’t changed.”
    Val shook his head. “Yes, you have, you’ve lost yourself somewhere.”
    â€œLet me out, Val.” Peter’s voice was shaking. “I can’t do this right now. Let me—”
    â€œDrown yourself in oblivion? Can’t you see it’s killing you? Do you remember those beggars who lined the roadsides in Turkey, who would do anything just to have a grain of opium?”
    Peter slowly rose to his feet and rubbed a languid hand over his chest. “I’m fine. If you don’t want to fuck me, let me go and find somebody who does.”
    â€œAnd how will you pay for the opium now that you have no money? By whoring yourself out to anyone who’ll feed your addiction?”
    He shrugged. “I’ve been whoring since I got an erection. It doesn’t mean anything.”
    â€œBut it should.”
    Peter’s smile disappeared. “You fuck women all the time and none of them mean anything to you.”
    â€œThis isn’t about me.”
    â€œOne might say that you are as addicted to sex as I am to opium.”
    â€œSex won’t damn well kill me!”
    â€œHow do you know that? What about if you fuck a diseased woman? Surely by indiscriminately fucking your way through all of womankind you are taking just as big a risk as I am?”
    â€œIt’s not the same, and you damn well know it! I’m careful.”
    â€œSo am I.”
    Val swung around. “You are damn well not! Look at you! Practically licking my boots in an effort to force me to let you out, offering anything! God!”
    â€œYou’re right. I’ll lick anything you want, Val, if it gets me out of here.”
    â€œDamn you.” Val returned to his seat by the fire and sat down with a thump, his face averted.
    â€œVal.”
    â€œWhat?”
    â€œI’m—” Peter wrapped his arms around himself, fell down onto his knees, and threw up all the water he’d recently drunk. “God—” He retched again, this time dry-heaving until he was curled up in a ball on the carpet.
    Suddenly Val was right there, lifting him into his arms and laying him on the bed. A wet cloth appeared and covered his face. He breathed in the coolness of the water and managed to clean himself off.
    â€œBetter?”
    â€œ No .” He grabbed Val’s wrist hard until the bones grated against each other. “Let me go, please .”
    â€œNo.” Val’s gaze was as pitiless as a saint’s. “We’ll see this through together.”
    â€œI don’t want you to see me like this.”
    â€œI know.” Val kissed his fingers and then unwrapped them from around his wrist. “Try to sleep.”

    Val looked down at Peter, who was moaning constantly now and writhing on the sheets, his body glistening with sweat as he fought to breathe. How many hours had it been now? How many days? Val rubbed his jawline, noticing the roughness of his stubble. At least Peter had stopped trying to seduce him. He could deal with the sickness, the panic attacks, and even the hallucinations without blinking. The physical and mental goading was another matter, especially as what Peter said usually had a grain of truth in it.
    There was a tap on the door. After another glance at Peter, Val went over and, as arranged, knocked twice. He heard the key turn in the lock and then Helene’s worried face appeared in the small crack.
    â€œHow is he?”
    â€œStill bad.”
    She wrinkled up her nose. “I’ll send someone to change the sheets and bring you fresh food and water. You could probably do with some clean clothes yourself.”
    â€œThere’s no point yet. He’s still too sick to keep anything much inside him.”
    â€œDo you need laudanum, or anything? Shall I send for a doctor? Mine