Free The Clause by Brian Wiprud Page B

his stool. I grabbed him by the lapel to keep that from happening. “Steady!”
    He blubbered, “Is that my watch?”
    “Sure looks like it, doesn’t it. I found it on your dresser. Patek Philippe. Nice. Here.” I took it off and handed it to him.
    Tito took the watch, squinted blearily at it, then turned his eyes to me. “Who are you?”
    “Come on, Tito, who else would have your watch but a thief?”
    His eyes widened and they began to search the room, perhaps for the police or the Kurac. He didn’t seem to know what to do, but knew that he should take action.
    “Steady, my friend, steady. You’re not calling the police, or the Kurac.”
    The bartender set my seltzer in front of me. I said to him, “See, I found Tito’s watch!” The bartender smiled politely and drifted to the far end of the bar. Tito was my problem now.
    “You are very stupid coming here with my watch!”
    “Didn’t you want your watch back?”
    He clenched his jaw and hissed. “I want it all back!”
    I laughed. “Oh no you don’t. Imagine what the Kurac would say when you handed them back their gems? Oh, they’d take them, and then they’d take you to a basement room and go to work on you with bolt cutters and a curling iron.”
    Tito shuttered so violently that half his drink sprinkled onto the bar. “What?”
    “They’d think you took them and got scared and tried to give them back.” I put a hand on his shoulder. “Tito, look, I can’t give them back any more than you can. They already suspect you, right?”
    “No! My wife, she told them …”
    “Your wife?”
    “Yes, Idi.” His eyes went icy. “She told them I was not involved.”
    “Really. Are you sure?”
    “Sure of what?”
    “That your wife told you the truth?”
    He took a deep breath and reset his jaw. “Why have you come here?”
    “Because you and I are riding the same bus.”
    “How? You stole from me and you stole from them! I did nothing. I am a victim!”
    “Shhh, no need to shout. Okay, so if you’re a victim, whose victim are you? Mine?”
    “Yes!”
    “Let me ask you, Tito, why were the Kurac sparks in your safe?”
    “I was doing a favor.”
    “Favors are free, my friend. No, you were getting paid. And you needed the money, right? Let me take a guess. Was the money to cover real estate losses? For new investment property? Or maybe to cover Idi’s expensive lifestyle? All that Cartier jewelry doesn’t come cheap. And I’m sure her breasts cost a bundle.”
    I could hear his teeth grind. “So you have come to torment me, is that your purpose?”
    “Nope. I just thought we might be able to help each other.”
    “If you want to help, give back what you stole, thief!”
    “I think I did you a favor last night.”
    “A favor!” He wiggled his empty glass at the bartender, who came reluctantly back toward us. I gave the mustache a nod that it was okay, suggesting I’d take responsibility for Tito. More scotch was poured, and I shoved a twenty across to pay for it.
    “The Cartier stuff was insured, am I right? So what will you lose? Well, maybe you’ll lose Idi, but that was inevitable. You really couldn’t afford her anyway, am I right? Very few men could or even should. And let’s be honest: she’s not the kind of person a man wants as his wife. I mean, aside from her obvious charms. When has she ever cooked you a meal? And do you trust her? Really trust her? Why was it her who explained things to the Kurac? Maybe she actually works for them.”
    “She has gone to the Kurac boss and not returned.” Tito slumped. “Now why is it you torment me, too?”
    “I’m here to help, and I already have, you just don’t know it yet.”
    “Go away. I don’t want to talk to you.”
    “It’s too late for that. You have to talk to me now. Imagine if the Kurac found out we were here drinking together? Smile.” I held Phone #2 at arm’s length and took our picture.
    He had another violent shudder, his eyes wide with horror.
    “I see