Free Dreams of a Virgin by John Foltin Page A

face.
    She hid under the counter until we closed and
everyone else left. It was just her and me, alone inside the
bank.

    “Can I tell you a dirty little secret? I’ve
had this fantasy about doing it in a bank vault, rolling around in
money.”
    “Really?”
    “Do you have access to the vault?” She bit my
ear. “Because I could definitely make it worth your while.”
    When she said that, I would dig through that
vault with my fingernails to make her happy. Fortunately, I knew
the combination.
    As soon as I opened the vault door, she
pushed me inside and tackled me. She looked over and saw a huge
stack of old bills that were to be taken on Monday to be shredded.
She grabbed handful after handful and tossed them in the air. The
floor was covered in money.
    She flung off the dress she was wearing,
revealing that she was wearing nothing underneath. My jaw dropped
when I saw how amazing her body looked. If I could chisel the
perfect body out of stone, this is how it would look. She lay next
to me and started rolling around in the money.
    She rolled on top of me. Again, she kissed me
long and hard.
    “Do me.” She kissed my left cheek. “Do me
long.” She kissed my right cheek. “Do me hard.” Again, she kissed
my lips. “Do me now.” She ripped open my shirt.
    I tried to set a world record in getting my
clothes off. See, I knew I had that roll of quarters in my pants
again. The only question was, as excited as I was, would I be
making a withdrawal in my drawers before I could make a deposit in
her account. Though I didn’t set the record, I did get everything
off fast enough to avoid disaster.
    Remember as a kid, having a piggy bank
without the rubber stop? The kind you had to shake upside down to
get the money out? Well, that how I was.
    I climbed on top of her in time to make my
deposit into her account. I was shaking my piggy bank to give her
every last cent I had. She was twitching around on the floor.
    After the most amazing five minutes of my
life, I’d spent everything I had. In fact, I felt overdrawn. Not
her. She still had a lot of energy. So much that she was ready to
rock my world again. Too bad I didn’t have the funds.
    I saw her get up and get dressed. She reached
into her purse and pulled out a gun and a couple of trash bags.
    “Sorry. I need you to fill these bags up
now.” She pointed the gun at me.
    “But what about us? What about your
fantasy?”
    “You’ve made that fantasy come true. And that
fantasy ends with me leaving with a bunch of money.”
    I started filling the bags with the old
bills. I knew the security cameras were on.
    That was when I had an epiphany. My life up
to this point had been boring, ordinary. Hailee lit a fire in me
that couldn’t be extinguished. For the first time in a long time, I
felt alive.
    “Take me with you. I’ve got nothing left
here. When my boss sees I let you into the vault, I’m fired. I’ve
nothing to go home to. Besides, no one has ever made me feel like
you have, Hailee. I thought I’d lost you once. I can’t live without
you. I don’t want to live without you.”
    I could see that I’d touched her.
    “How sweet.”
    She pulled the trigger and shot me in the
head.
    “Sorry, baby. But I work alone.”
    She walked out with the garbage bags full of
money and closed the vault door with me still inside.
     
     

TODAY’S
TOP STORY
    Sometimes news happens when you least expect it. And
sometimes we make news happen.
     
    “Good evening. I’m Jeff, and here is
tonight’s top story. A tanker trailer flipped over. The tanker was
carrying a volatile gas that causes people to lose their
inhibitions. We go now live to Tabitha with a report.”
    “Thank you, Jeff. I am here at the scene of
the crash. The EPA has already contained the area. Reports are that
a car swerved in front of the tanker, causing it to fish-tail and
capsize. The gas is not fatal, but it does cause those who inhale
it to experience intoxicating features. Back to you,