Free The Valkyrie by Charlotte Vassell Page B

Coming in last is team” he said
pausing, squinting at the page before continuing “I lost my
virginity at age, 14 points.” He jabbed his finger at Glory, in
frustration “Any more from you and you’re barred.”
    “Don’t be silly
darling Geoffrey. You’d go under in a week without me. What’s the
booby prize? It best be worth it.” Glory said.
    “It’s my
ex-wife’s old plug-in foot spa. She only used it a few times.”
Geoff said.
    “That is
suitably shit. Bravo Geoffrey, bravo.” said Glory.
    “More booze
yeah, more booze.” Liberty said as she poured herself more
shots.
    ***
    The pub was
beginning to bustle with Hackney’s finest before the karaoke
carnage began, a tone deaf petit bourgeoisie got up to sing Bonnie
Tyler ironically, kicking it all off into full ear-bleeding swing.
A few chequered shirted men had propped themselves up at the bar
and were debating the merits of moustache wax whilst their
girlfriends chatted about the yeast cultures growing in their
airing cupboards. One had multiple facial piercings and a barrister
father, and the other worked in a boutique t-shirt shop and was
trying really hard not to let the outside world know that as a
child she had a pony called Effie-May.
    “Alright before
the karaoke let’s play a game.” Glory said.
    “Let’s play
Massacre.” Honour said excitedly.
    “Yes.” Glory
said.
    “What’s that?”
asked Bea.
    “We pick groups
of mortals who we’d happily murder for the sake of it because
something about them pisses us off. I’m not sure that it’s
technically a game, as I don’t know how you win.” Honour said.
    “You win by
actually doing it.” Liberty said solemnly.
    “It has
happened before.” Glory said.
    “Bubonic
plague…” Liberty said.
    “Never play
this game with Ares or Fortune. They’ll both carry it out. Even I
draw the line at that, well for the time being anyway.” Glory said
winking.
    “Why did you
wink at me? What’s wrong with you? Right, I’ll go first… white guys
with dreadlocks.” Honour said.
    “Nice choice.
They all deserve to die.” Glory said.
    “Those women on
public transport who sit on the aisle seat and put their bag on the
other one and when you ask if the seat is taken they only move
their legs so you can take their bag seat instead of moving along.
I despise them.” Liberty said.
    “That was
really detailed. Adults who ride scooters, oh and people who cycle
on pavements. I have to try really super hard not to kick their
wheels when they go past so that they fall under taxis.” Glory
said.
    “Tourists.”
Honour said.
    “Is that purely
in London or globally?” asked Liberty.
    “Globally. Stay
at home with your stupid fucking backpacks.” Honour said.
    “People who
describe themselves as funny.” Glory said.
    “I don’t know
about that one.” Liberty said swaying a bit.
    “Bea, who do
you want to die hideously?” asked Liberty.
    “Well no one.”
Bea said to which the others all look at her curiously.
    “Really? Is
that because you don’t really care about the mortals enough to
dislike any of them?” asked Honour.
    “Well the
mortals have their faults and do cruel things, but each of them
feels and in their own way tries to redeem their shortcomings.
Their ability to want to be better, to attempt to improve, to
transcend their own limitations is admirable. Should we not follow
their example and try to be better also, try and be better to them,
try and be better for them?” asked Bea. Honour and Glory both
laughed uproariously whilst Liberty looked mildly ashamed as she
should know better.
    “So the heavens
do have mercy. Someone should let the mortals know, they’ve been
gagging for it for centuries.” Glory said.
    “The real
question is how many of them redeem themselves. Your sentiment is
noble, the reality reprehensible. As Valkyries we are in the
business of assuming that they can transcend their limitations to
become brighter and bolder through our efforts in