Free Wish You Were Here by Rita Mae Brown Page B

stepped into the post office with Pewter on his heels. Maude Bly Modena rummaged around in her box, while Harry was in the back.
    â€œHi, Maudie.”
    â€œHi, Fair.” Maude thought Fair a divine-looking man. Most women did.
    â€œHarry!”
    â€œWhat?” The voice filtered out from the back door.
    â€œI brought you some Cokes.”
    â€œThree hundred thirty-three”—the door opened—“because that’s what you owe me.” Harry appreciated his gesture more than she showed.
    Fair shoved the six-pack across the counter.
    Pewter hollered,
“Mrs. Murphy, where are you?”
    Tucker walked over and touched noses with Pewter, who liked dogs very much.
    â€œI’m counting rubber bands. What do you want?”
Mrs. Murphy replied.
    Harry grabbed the Cokes off the counter. “Mrs. Murphy, what have you done?”
    â€œI haven’t done anything,”
the cat protested.
    Harry appealed to Fair. “You’re a veterinarian. You explain this.” She pointed to the rubber bands tossed about the floor.
    Maude leaned over the counter. “Isn’t that cute? They get into everything. My mother once had a calico that played with toilet paper. She’d grab the end of the roll and run through the house with it.”
    â€œThat’s nothing.”
Pewter one-upped her:
“Cazenovia, the cat at Saint Paul’s Church, eats communion wafers.”
    â€œPewter wants on the counter.” Fair thought the meow meant that. He lifted her onto the counter, where she rolled on her back and also rolled her eyes.
    The humans thought this was adorable and fussed over her. Mrs. Murphy, boiling with disgust, jumped onto the counter and spat in Pewter’s face.
    â€œJealousy’s the same in any language.” Fair laughed and continued to pet Pewter, who had no intention of relinquishing center stage.
    Tucker moaned on the floor.
“I can’t see anything down here.”
    Mrs. Murphy walked to the edge of the counter.
“What are you good for, Tee Tucker, with those short stubby legs?”
    â€œI can dig up anything, even a badger.”
Tucker smiled.
    â€œWe don’t have any badgers.”
Pewter now rolled from side to side and purred so loudly the deaf could appreciate her vocal abilities. The humans were further enchanted.
    â€œDon’t push your luck, Pewter,”
Tucker warned.
“Just because you’ve got the big head over knowing what happened before we did doesn’t mean you can come in here and make fun of me.”
    â€œThis is the most affectionate cat I’ve ever seen.” Maude tickled Pewter’s chin.
    â€œShe’s also the fattest cat you’ve ever seen,”
Mrs. Murphy growled.
    â€œDon’t be ugly,” Harry warned the tiger.
    â€œDon’t be ugly.”
Pewter mocked the human voice.
    Mrs. Murphy paced the counter. A mail bin on casters rested seven feet from the counter top. She gathered herself and arched off the counter, smack into the middle of the mail bin, sending it rolling across the floor.
    Maude squealed with delight and Fair clapped his hands together like a boy.
    â€œShe does that all the time. Watch.” Harry trotted up behind the now-slowing cart and pushed Mrs. Murphy around the back of the post office. She made choo-choo sounds when she did it. Mrs. Murphy popped her head over the side, eyes big as eight balls, tail swishing.
    â€œNow this is fun!”
the cat declared.
    Pewter, still being petted by Maude, was soured by Mrs. Murphy’s audacious behavior. She put her head on the counter and closed her eyes. Mrs. Murphy might be bold as brass but at least Pewter behaved like a lady.
    Maude leafed through her mail as she rubbed Pewter’s ears. “I hate that!”
    â€œAnother bill? Or how about those appeals for money in envelopes that look like old Western Union telegrams? I really hate that.” Harry continued to push Mrs. Murphy