Free Imaginary Friends by Nora Ephron Page B

what? It’s boring. The woman can’t tell her own story.
    MARY : She doesn’t need to tell her own story—or to be famous, or celebrated, or lionized. She is, forgive me, a good person.
    LILLIAN : But she’s not a writer.
[To
MURIEL GARDINER .] You are not a writer. Sorry.
    MURIEL GARDINER : I suppose that’s true. I’m not a writer.
[Stands.]
I’m a psychoanalyst. And our time is up for today. But may I say something to you both.
[To
MARY .] Look at you, Mary. Someone once told you a lie, a terrible lie, so you made a religion out of the truth. And it turned out to be your blind spot, because you never understood how subjective and elusive and abstract truth is—you simply thought that if you could prove someone was telling a lie, you’d won.
[To
LILLIAN .] You, on the other hand, witnessed a traumatic version of the primal scene, and then you were persuaded to lie about it. So you spent your life telling lies and expecting to be applauded for it.
[To them both.]
It all seems quite hopeless. If only there were a door to slam. Good-bye.
    She walks offstage. The two women watch her go. A beat
.
    LILLIAN : Is she gone?
    MARY : I think so.
    LILLIAN : A perfect example of the limits of Freudian analysis.
    MARY : I couldn’t agree more.
    LILLIAN : Of course, there was no trial.
    MARY : None at all.
    LILLIAN : I died before there could be one.
    MARY : And that was the end of that. The case never went to court. But by the time you died, Muriel Gardiner’s book had been published, and everyone knew you’d made the whole thing up. And not just anything. You stopped Hitler. You, Lillian Hellman, stopped Hitler and saved the Jews with your little fur hat.
    LILLIAN : But you didn’t win.
    MARY : I destroyed you.
    LILLIAN : And yet the only reason you’re here is because of me.
    MARY : That’s not true.
    LILLIAN : What if it is? What if that light on your face—
[She points to the spotlight.]
—is shining only because you’re up here with me? Who are you, anyway? You’re what’s-her-name who made the mistake of picking Lillian Hellman foran enemy. You’re that writer I sued because you were so mean—
    MARY : That’s not why you sued me. You sued me for the fun of it—
    LILLIAN : I do like a good time—
    MARY : You sued me to bankrupt me—
    LILLIAN : How could I have known you’d saved so little money?
    MARY : You sued me to give yourself something to live for—
    LILLIAN : All of the above. I was old and sick and blind and looking for a reason to go on getting out of bed every day, and you were as good a reason as any. I sued you so you would be awake at three in the morning, like me. I sued you so that when you looked in the mirror and saw another line on your face, you would blame me for it. I sued you so that when you went to the doctor with the next awful thing wrong with you, you would see me smiling through the X rays. I sued you to shorten your life. Did I shorten your life?
    MARY : Yes. You did.
    LILLIAN : Good. I’m glad.
    MARY : And I’m glad I outlived you. Although I didn’t want you to die. I was very disappointed there was no trial. I wanted you to lose in court.
    LILLIAN : You said that at the time, and even your friends were horrified.
    MARY : There’s no satisfaction in having an enemy die.
    LILLIAN : I brought out the worst in you.
    MARY : I was your undoing—
    LILLIAN : You were nothing more than an irritation—
    MARY : I was your nemesis—
    LILLIAN : You rarely crossed my mind—
    MARY : You wanted to be me—
    LILLIAN : You wanted what was mine—
    MARY : I had a charmed life—
    LILLIAN : I had a third act—
    MARY : I
ruined
your third act—
    LILLIAN : I
was
your third act—
    MARY : Liar!
    LILLIAN : Bitch!
    They look at each other, hatred burning. They grab each other. And then they kiss
.
    MARY : I hate you.
    LILLIAN : I wish you were dead.
    MARY : I am.
    LILLIAN : Even so.
    A beat
.
    MARY : I’m leaving.
    LILLIAN : So am I.
    MARY : I don’t have to take this.
    LILLIAN : Enough