Free The World's Finest Mystery... by Ed Gorman Page A

them all— every issue of Ellery Queen Mystery Magazine, Alfred Hitchcock Mystery Magazine, Futures, Blue Murder, and assorted e-zines. Anthologies like Deadly Dozen, Crime Through Time III, Malice Domestic, Unholy Orders . Not only that, I had to handle them. Create a database, log in authors, from Abbott, Jeff in Magnolias and Mayhem , to Zackel, Frederick in Carvezine.
     
     
Some people think there are already enough Edgars; that the Awards Banquet goes on far too long. Not me. In fact, since not every story has everything the reader is looking for, I'd add a few categories. Best Female Character, for one. For this I'd pick the overweight Patricia— sweating and straining against the pedals of a stationary bike, planning revenge on her condescending aerobics instructor ("Spinning," by Kristine Kathryn Rusch, EQMM , July).
     
     
Why not a Best Title Award— maybe "Taking Out Mr. Garbage" (Judith Kelman, Murder Among Friends ) or "Jesus Kicks Some" (Bruce F. Murphy, Blue Murder Magazine , October/November). For Best Weapon, I'd choose the leg of lamb ("Copycat," Joan Myers, Deadly Dozen ). And I'd love to create a Best Pet-Free Story Award (the excellence of "Twelve of the Little Buggers" by Mat Coward in EQMM , for January notwithstanding). I'd give the Far Out Award to the ingenious story featuring quantum teleportation (it's not just for photons anymore) from Michael Burstein ("The Quantum Teleporter," Analog magazine, February), or to the talking doll in "Chatty Patty" (Taylor McCafferty, Magnolias and Mayhem ). A Cliché Award might balance all the positives— this year: like a deer in the headlights (you know who you are).
     
     
In the complaint department: too many stories fell short of true mystery, better labeled "best-kept secret stories." A sample of unsatisfying denouements: the bride was really not his grandchild; third-party confessions such as I-saw-your-mother-murder-your-father (or vice versa); and one story where I, the cop, killed my partner's daughter— all delivered in a telling fashion. And, of course, there were the too-cute endings, like "he" was really the dog (or cat), not the husband.
     
     
For me, "Missing in Action" (Peter Robinson, EQMM , November) had it all. Imagine weaving a story about a missing child around his mother's speech impediment.
     
     
The whole truth: it's awesome to have almost the entire body of short stories of the year 2000 in front of me, in an overflowing maroon crate.
     
     
To all of you who wrote these stories, thanks. Really. Be sure we were honored to consider your work and to give every submission careful attention.
     
     
Edgar Awards 2000— Short Story Honorable Mentions:
     
     
Doug Allyn, "The Christmas Mitzvah," Ellery Queen's Mystery Magazine , December; Denise Barton, "The Ticket," Futures , February–March; Beverly "Booger" Brackett, Handheld Crime ; Michael Burstein, "The Quantum Teleporter," Analog , September; Hal Charles, "Slave Wall," EQMM , February; Terrence Faherty, "The Third Manny," EQMM , February; John M. Floyd, "Blue Wolf," Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine , February; Ed Gorman, "Anna and the Players," EQMM , November; Tony Hickie, "Decimation," AHMM , March; Edward D. Hoch, "The Fading Woman," EQMM , April; Clark Howard, "The Killing Floor," Crippen & Landru; Rob Kantner, "My Best Fred McMurray," AHMM , October; Rochelle Krich, "Widow's Peak," Unholy Orders ; Taylor McCafferty, "Chatty Patty," Magnolias and Mayhem ; Sharyn McCrumb, "Lark in the Morning," Crime Through Time III ; Joan Myers, "Copycat," Deadly Dozen ; Tom Tolnay, "The Stealing Progression," EQMM , August; Alison White, "The Bluebird," EQMM , February; William Sanders, "Smoke," Crime Through Time III ; Walter Satterthwaite, "Missolongi," AHMM , October; Lisa Seidman, "Over My Shoulder," Deadly Dozen ; Serita Stevens, "The Unborn," Nefarious ; Steven Saylor, "The Consul's Wife," Crime Through Time III ; Peter Straub, "Porkpie Hat," Magic Terror