Free What Family Means by Geri Krotow Page A

you’re beyond emotionally invested. You think everything that happens to any of our kids is because of you or me, something we did or didn’t do.”
    “But I’m a parent, a mother.”
    “True, but this isn’t about being a parent, Deb. It’s about your need to feel in charge of everything. Hell, you wouldn’t even think of marrying me until I all but begged you to. You thrive on control, imagined or not.”
    I blinked back tears. This was supposed to be a happy time for us. Angie had said it and she’d been right.
    “It always goes back to that summer, those early years.” My words came out in a strangled whisper.
    “ Babe. We’ve had a great ride together so far, and I’m looking forward to much more.” Will reached under the table and squeezed my knee.
    His eyes still twinkled, past the exhaustion and sorrow I saw in their depths.
    “You asked, and I’m telling,” he said. “Maybe I should’ve pushed you on this years ago, but I’ve always been so happy with you as my wife that I overlooked what I saw as your shame.”
    “Shame…of what?”
    “The effect our blended genes would have on our kids. The fact that they’re neither black nor white but both. The fact that it may have exposed them to prejudice or unfair treatment.”
    Pain seared through me.
    “I love you, Will, and I love our children. I’m not ashamed of anything we’ve done together. God, everything I’ve done is for all of you.”
    “So do this one last thing for me and let it go, Deb. Let go of having to be the protector. Let go of having to be the one to fix everything. Because you can’t, love. Sometimes what we think needs fixing isn’t even broken.”
    I studied his blurred image through my wet eyes. Will’s words hurt because they were true. I was reminded of a time when I’d had to confront Will about his relationship with his mother. That his concern for her was getting in the way of our love for each other.
    “Is this how you felt when I told you that you had to stop trying to be everything for Vi?” It was hard to imagine that anything I’d ever said to Will had so deeply jarred him.
    “Probably.” Will didn’t make any apologies for how he felt, or the words he’d spoken.
    I knew my husband didn’t talk about emotional issues unless pushed, or unless he thought it would help one or both of us.
    “Why didn’t you tell me you felt this way sooner?”
    “I told you, honey, I’ve never been so unhappy that it mattered. But now our children are on their own. Isn’t it time for you and me to be the couple we’ve always dreamed about?”
    “We’re not kids anymore, Will.”
    “No, but the kids we were wouldn’t want us to waste this precious time together. Time we’ve waited a lifetime for.”
    I considered pointing out that we weren’t alone, even now. His mother needed us, and she lived in the cottage behind our house.
    But I kept my thoughts quiet. I didn’t want Will to think for a moment that I had any issue with Vi’s dependence on us. I treated her as I’d want my family to treat me in the same circumstance—with dignity and respect.
    Still, I couldn’t resist saying, “So much for a nice welcome-home celebration.”
    Will sighed. “Sometimes it’s better just to get it out in the open, Deb. We’re both good at shoving it down, ignoring what isn’t pleasant or cozy. But we’ve had almost forty years together, more if you count when we met. I want the best years to be ahead of us, don’t you?”
    I stared at him.
    “And your way of making the future ‘the best years’ isn’t controlling? In your own way?”
    I was unable to stop the flow of words.
    “Deb, I’m not trying to change you, and I’m sorry you feel that I am. I love you. I’m happy, very happy. But I’m tired of the weight of this. I wish you could see what I see—you’re beautiful and you have a wonderfulfamily who loves you. You don’t need to take on everyone else’s problems.”
    He put his hand on my arm.