Free Confessions of a Gunfighter by Tell Cotten Page B

that’s what I felt like for a split second. It was what Pa had always warned me about, and for the first time I was scared of myself. Here I was only fifteen, and already I’d killed two men.
    I was quiet during supper, and Kinrich noticed it. 
    “Button, I’m not much on saying thanks, but I appreciate what you did,” Kinrich said earnestly. “You pulled me out of a jam for sure.”
    “Don’t mention it,” I replied.
    Kinrich stood and refilled his cup with coffee, and then he sat back down. 
    “Been doing some thinking,” Kinrich said.  
    I filled my own cup with coffee and leaned back. 
    “Oh?” I asked.
    “You keep telling me that you want to get yourself a ranch job. Well, I have a better idea.”
    “What’s that?” I took a sip of coffee.
    Kinrich looked at me over the rim of his cup. 
    “Now that Harris is dead, I’m short a man. So, I’d like you to join up with us.”
    I was surprised, and I burnt my tongue on the coffee. 
    “You mean become an outlaw?”
    “You’re young, but you’ve learned fast,” Kinrich replied. “And especially with that gun of yours. You’re good, Button, real good. Remember when you asked if you could be as fast as me?”
    I nodded.
    “Well you ain’t yet, but you’re real close,” Kinrich said. “And that’s saying a lot, Button.”
    I scratched my chin as I thought it over. 
    “I never figured on becoming an outlaw. Pa wouldn’t have liked it.”
    “Your Pa’s dead; you ain’t,” Kinrich responded.
    I frowned thoughtfully. 
    “I don’t know, Kinrich. I just don’t know.”
    Kinrich pressed on.
    “Tell you what, Button; here’s what we’ll do. You ride with me a few years, and during that time we’ll both save up some cash. Now, you heard what Harris said ’bout us not making much money, but he was wrong. We do all right, and I figure after ’bout three or four years that we should have a pretty good poke stashed away. After that you and me can quit, and we’ll get ourselves an outfit put together and start ranching. And we’ll do it honest too.”    
    “That sounds fine, but I still don’t like the idea of becoming an outlaw,” I answered.
    “Listen, Button, being an outlaw ain’t as bad as you think,” Kinrich replied patently. “Ever since the war most banks have been mighty hard on us poor ol’ Southerners, and most folks in the South don’t mind it much when a Union bank gets robbed.
    “Now you heard Harris say that I always play it safe, and I do. I plan all my jobs in advance, and I always plan ’em so there’ll be no killing if possible.”
    I was tempted, but I was also hesitant. If I became an outlaw I would be going against Pa, and I told Kinrich just that.
    “Tell you what, Button,” Kinrich said as he finished his coffee. “There’s no need for you to decide tonight. We’ve still got three weeks before I have to meet up with the rest of the boys, so you take some time and think it over good.”
    I nodded.
    “I’ll think on it,” I said.
    “Good,” Kinrich replied.
    It was silent, and then Kinrich looked back up.
    “By the way; tomorrow I’ve got to be leaving for a few days, but I want you to stay here. Be a good chance for you to think things over.”
    “Where are you going?” I asked curiously.
    “Scouting trip,” Kinrich explained. “Between every job I have to go and set up the next job, that way I can tell the boys where to meet up again. Now, how ’bout a game of poker before we bed down?”
    So that’s how it was. The next morning Kinrich saddled up and rode out, and for the next few days I fought with my conscience. 
    I knew Pa would have been against it, and deep down I knew better. But, I really didn’t have any other options to choose from. 
    I now knew how to live off the land, so I wasn’t scared of dying and such like I’d been before.
    Yet Kinrich had already explained how hard it would be for a youngster like myself to find a ranch job. Ever since the war the price