even cold.’
I clasped my arms around myself and jiggled up and down on the spot, wincing every now and then from the twinges in my strapped-up ankle. ‘That’s easy for you to say. Ghosts
don’t feel temperature. It could be sub-zero and you wouldn’t know it.’
‘I told you to wear a hat and gloves,’ Jeremy pointed out in a mildly self-satisfied voice. ‘I did say it would be chilly.’
I didn’t even dignify that with an answer and turned to Dontay instead. ‘So this is where you used to play?’
He nodded. ‘Until I got picked up by the Hammers. Then I played at their training ground in Essex with the other Academy kids.’ He trailed off as the goalkeeper saved a shot aimed at
the back of the net. ‘I’d give anything to kick the ball about again.’
The longing in his voice was almost tangible. A wave of sympathy crashed over me and we watched in silence as the game went on in front of us. In spite of what I’d learned watching the
England game with Dontay, I still felt like I knew nothing about football, but even I could see Nelson was a talented player. The ball seemed tied to his feet with invisible string as he danced
around the opposing team. If Dontay had been anything like as good as his brother then he’d been robbed of a shining future. No wonder he was bitter and angry.
I still hadn’t spoken to him about his death. If I was honest, I still wasn’t sure how to broach the subject without upsetting him. He was starting to open up, but he was often still
moody and I didn’t feel we were at the stage where I could force him to relive painful memories. I couldn’t help feeling it was somehow linked to Nelson, though, which was why I’d
agreed to give up my precious Saturday morning lie-in for gloomy Hackney.
There was nothing useful I could say to Dontay, so I clamped my mouth closed and we watched the game. He sank into a brooding silence and I could practically feel his barely contained resentment
seething beside me. It wasn’t until his brother threaded the ball past the keeper and we were watching the players jog back to the halfway line that Dontay seemed to shake himself out of his
mood and I decided to take a risk.
‘Can I ask you something?’
He shrugged, throwing me a curious look. ‘I suppose so, yeah.’
‘What do you miss most about being alive?’ Jeremy threw me a warning glance, but I ignored him and waved a hand towards the pitch. ‘Apart from this, obviously.’
Dontay thrust his hands into his pockets, staring down at the patchy white touchline peeping through the muddy grass at our feet. ‘Loads of stuff,’ he said, his voice subdued.
‘My mates, my family. Krispy Kreme doughnuts.’ His eyes met mine and behind the resentment, I saw misery etched there. ‘Everything, really.’
I swallowed my sympathy and forced myself to push on. ‘Why do you think you’re still here?’
His gaze flickered briefly towards the pitch. ‘Dunno. Maybe you can figure that out.’
I opened my mouth to reply, but a crunching tackle right in front of us had me leaping backwards to avoid a jumble of legs. By the time the referee had waved the yellow card at one of the
players, Dontay had moved away from me and it was clear he wasn’t in a talking mood.
‘How’s things?’ Jeremy handed me a steaming cup of blackcurrant juiciness and eyed me meaningfully. ‘Everything OK?’
I guessed he meant how were things going with Dontay. I cast an uneasy glance towards him, not sure he was far enough away for me to give Jeremy an honest answer. But his attention was fixed on
the game. Now that I came to think of it, it had to be a bit weird for Jeremy, knowing that there were ghosts nearby but not being able to see or hear them. No wonder he got the wrong end of the
stick so often when he heard Celestine or me bickering with Mary.
‘Not great,’ I replied. ‘All things being equal, I’d rather be in bed. And it was a bit weird having him turn up at school