Free Innocent Monsters by Barbara Doherty Page B

it for me and I can’t write without feeling it.”
    “Really? Cause I’ve got a whole list of subjects waiting to be written and published. Whole stories just waiting for a writer willing to do a bit of research. That’s what you need, ain’t it? A way of getting back into it?”
    Getting back into it? Jessica didn’t like where the conversation was going. She had agreed to meet him to have a drink, tell him not to worry, to reassure him, because she could do this, she had to do this, writing was all she could do. And now Roger was staring at her with a look on his face she had not expected, and he sounded as if he knew exactly what was going on, even before she had admitted it to herself. She was feeling frustrated and irritated when all se had intended to do was relax before the signing session.
    “No actually,” she snapped defensively. “That’s not what I need at all. I told you, I don’t do non-fiction. I’m working on a few ideas. You’ll have an outline on your desk in a couple of weeks. Right?”
    “Perfect. That’s all I needed to hear. Would you like to discuss these ideas? Have my input?”
    “I’d rather discuss once you’ve read the outline, if you don’t mind.”
    “No, that’s fine. Then... Meeting’s over, I guess.” He could only hope she wasn’t just buying herself some more time.
    They had not finished their drinks so they sat in silence for a while; Jessica drank, Roger stifled a couple of yawns with his mouth shut trying to be discreet, his nostrils dilated.
    “Don’t let me keep you awake.” She joked.
    “Sorry. It’s been a hard week.”
    “Busy at work?”
    “Busy at work doesn’t even begin to cover it this month.” He would have loved to speak out, get things off his chest, but this was not the time and Jessica Lynch was most definitely not the person to do it with. There was never going to be a person he could talk to about what had happened, not in this lifetime. “Can’t fuckin’ sleep.”
    “Maybe you need a holiday.”
    Roger shook his head. “You don’t wonna know what it is I need. But I’m not gonna lie to you, a break sounds good. Any suggestions?”
    “They’ve opened a new Holiday Inn in Crocker Amazon last week. Looks grand. Could be just what you need.”
    He burst out laughing. “Might be fully booked already. What happened to moving out of that dump, anyway?”
    “I’m working on it, don’t you worry about that.”
    Jessica took a long sip from her glass. “...William Blaise... I went to see his place yesterday. Nob Hill. Very nice.”
    When she raised her eyes from the glass Roger was staring at her, wide eyed, as if she had just told him the most horrifying ghost story.
    “You all right?” She asked.
    “Sure, why d’you ask?”
    “I don’t know, you’re looking at me funny.”
    “Must be the vodka getting to me.”
    He gulped down the last of his drink and she expected him to resume the conversation, tell her something about Blaise she didn’t already know, instead he contemplated the bottles of liqueurs behind the bar in silence.
    “You’re a strange man Roger, anyone ever told you that?”
    “Yeah. Anyone ever told you you’re a pain in the ass?”
    “Yes,” she conceded. “How long have you known him, anyway?”
    “Known who?”
    “William Blaise.”
    “Jessica,” he sneered. “Who the fuck is this William Blaise?”
    “I’m sorry?”
    “Who-the-fuck-is-William-Blaise?”
    “You mean...”
    “I mean, who the fuck is he? Which word do you have a problem with?”
    Her turn to stare wide-eyed. “I thought you...”
    “You thought I knew this guy? You thought wrong. You better get that drink down your neck quick, now. You’ve got somewhere to be.” Roger looked at his watch. “And so have I, as a matter of fact. You’ll be ok? Want me to get you a taxi?” She shook her head. “Then I’ll speak to you in a coupla weeks. Enjoy the signing.”
    Roger left her sitting on her own, confused and