Free Monza 3 (Formula Men #3) by Pamela Ann Page B

fears.
    Without another thought, I reached out to her, pulling her beside me as we both looked in the room as the nanny tried to put him to sleep.
    “He misses you, too.”
    I heard a sharp intake of breath from her.
    “I still feel so guilty. Dad’s been telling me I should stop before this negativity takes hold of me and really takes root inside my heart. He said, if I let it fester for a long period of time, I will miss out on Gian Luca’s best years, and I might come to regret that.”
    John had a point. He had delivered it rather boldly, but then again, maybe it was what she needed to hear. Her father’s words had obviously influenced her, or she wouldn’t be standing here.
    “Come,” I whispered as I grabbed her hand. “We can do this together.”
    She immediately looked startled, but she didn’t outright reject my suggestion.
    “If you feel like it’s too much, we can leave, but you have to try every day, even if it’s the most difficult thing you have to do. As much as I love him, it isn’t enough, Kim. He needs you. He needs his mom.”
    She nodded, and then I pushed the door to let us inside. Upon seeing me, the nanny beamed as she strode towards me and gently transferred the little bambino into my arms, allowing me to cradle his warm, tiny form.
    “Do you mind giving us some privacy?” I asked softly, and she happily sprinted out of the room.
    Not wanting to make her feel pressured now that we were all by ourselves, I just continued trying to put him to sleep.
    As much as I adored feeding him, these nighttime rituals were my favorite, because I loved watching him sleep like the little angel he was. There was nothing more peacefully beautiful than watching my son sleep.
    “May I hold him?” Kimberly meekly asked before adding, “Please.”
    “I thought you’d never ask.”
    She situated herself in the rocker, and then I tucked the baby in her arms. No words could fully describe how I felt when I saw tears in her eyes as she gazed down on him with such profound love.
    “Mommy hasn’t been well, my little one. I’m sorry for being the way that I am, but I’m getting stronger every day. Forgive me, my love.”
    It took every ounce of me to remain there, silent, unmoved as I gave her this moment to reintroduce herself into his world. I couldn’t help feeling triumphant that they had finally reunited. It was hard to comprehend that a mother who had just recently given birth to a baby would detach herself from her infant, though it was more common than one would imagine. Maybe that was why the news was filled with stories of mothers committing horrific tragedies. I wasn’t making an excuse about their actions, but one could imagine the inner workings their mind went through to get to that selfish, evil decision.
    I was simply grateful Kimberly had possessed the strength and courage to fight whatever was holding her down. Slowly but surely, she was coming out of her shell. It was like going through a barren winter before spring came in, full of blooms, full of color, full of life. It was magnificent.
    We stayed with our son for about an hour and a half then retreated back to my bedroom. As expected, she was overwrought with overwhelming emotions, but what mattered most was the smile she had across her face after expressing the turmoil she had experienced from holding Gian Luca after almost a month of not daring to touch him.
    Our first night together was filled with good vibes and laughter. It was better than I had anticipated.
    I would do anything just to see her smile the way she had tonight. She had no idea how much I longed to see that again.
    With the lights out, we then went to bed, and I automatically sought her warmth, holding her close against my chest. It was the most natural feeling one could ever experience—familiarity.
    She gave a small yawn before turning over to face me in the dark. And even though there wasn’t much light, her eyes penetrated mine like there was.
    “I’m going