Free Time Snatchers by Richard Ungar Page B

umbrella we’re after is in that shop right over there.”
    “I don’t see why we have to come all the way here just to pick up a stupid umbrella. There are plenty of umbrella shops in 2061.” I can hear the negative tone in my voice, but I can’t help it. I’m in a foul mood.
    “Maybe, but none of them carry the umbrella that Winston Churchill, Britain’s Prime Minister during World War II, brought with him to Harrow School in 1941 when he made one of the most famous speeches in history,” says Abbie. “You know … ‘never give in … ’”
    “I don’t see why he even bothered with an umbrella,” I say. “I mean, it’s not like he had to walk far to get there. He had his own chauffeur. Besides, what is Churchill’s umbrella doing here, in an umbrella shop in Kensington, sixty-five years later?”
    Children pour out of the cheese shop, poking at each other. Their laughter stabs my ears.
    Abbie squints at me. Her expression is halfway between concerned and annoyed. “I don’t know how it got here. What’s the difference? Why are you in such a bad mood?”
    Glad you finally noticed
, I feel like saying but instead just sit there, the perfect picture of gloom.
    “Is this about Frank?” she says.
    “Maybe,” I answer.
    She sighs. “I don’t see what your problem is with him. Did you taste that duck he cooked last night? It was awesome.”
    “That’s nothing,” I say. “Wait till you see what I’m cooking tonight.”
    “Oh, really?” she says, moving closer. “What is it?”
    “I … uh … can’t tell you just yet,” I say, immediately regretting my words. After all, when it comes to cooking, there’s no way I can compete with Frank.
    “Cale,” says Abbie, taking half a step back, “you should really try to get along better with Frank. He’s not so bad.”
    “Not so bad? He’s been poaching my snatches! What could possibly be ‘not so bad’ about that?”
    “I think you’re overreacting. Frank told me all about it. He said you were walking around Beijing sightseeing instead of doing the snatch. So Uncle sent him to do it.”
    “And you buy that?” I blurt out. I can’t believe what I’m hearing. From my own snatch partner, no less. “Frank told me all about it.” What else is Frank telling her? I can feel my face getting hot.
    “Let’s talk about something else,” she says, “like how you’re going to do the snatch in your long underwear.”
    “This isn’t long underwear!” I say a little too loudly.
    “Whatever. Pajamas. Wait, I’ve got it!” Abbie’s eyes are shining.She does a pirouette on the spot. “Nineteen sixty-two. Paris. The Hope Diamond heist. Remember?”
    “Sure, I remember,” I say. How could I forget? It was a perfectly executed snatch. For a month after, no one had a clue the world’s largest diamond had been stolen. But the best thing about Paris was the bowl of French onion soup. Easily the best I’ve ever tasted in my life. Just thinking about that bowl of soup is easing the tension in my shoulders.
    “Well, same thing,” she says. “Only this time, we switch roles. You’ll be the VIP, and I’ll be your aide-de-camp. Also, I’ll do all the talking.”
    “Hold on. Didn’t I give you a two-word allowance in Paris?” I ask.
    Abbie flicks a piece of fluff off her suit jacket. “Well, maybe,” she says slowly. “All right. You get two words, Cale. But that’s all.”
    “Plus variations,” I say.
    She raises her eyebrows. “You drive a hard bargain, mister. Okay, plus variations. But you’d better pick them fast. We’ve only got sixteen minutes left.”
    I think for a moment and then say, “
Cincinnati
and
Ohio
.” Technically, they’re place names and not real words, but Abbie doesn’t seem to object.
    “Fine. Now, you see the Brolly Shoppe’s picture window?” she says, pointing. “We’re going to cross and stand right in front of it. As soon as we get there, start swooning.”
    “Swooning?”
    “You know: fainting,