Free Waiting For Ethan by Diane Barnes Page A

He’s a half hour early. I race to the bathroom and check myself out in the full-length mirror. I have to say, the outfit Luci picked out looks good on me. Who cares that the waistline of the jeans is going to cut off my circulation. I look great.
    I come out of the bathroom expecting to hear the doorbell. Should I open the door before he rings the bell? No, that would make me look too eager. A minute or two passes, and Ethan still isn’t at the door, so I peek out the window. He’s sitting in his Jeep with his head resting on the steering wheel. Before I can figure out what he’s doing, he lifts his head and the Jeep backs out of the driveway.
    Remain calm , I tell myself. He must be trying to kill time because he doesn’t want to be so early. He probably assumes I’m not ready. That has to be it. I sit on the couch and thumb through a magazine, Brides magazine to be exact. I’ve already read the entire thing. I bought it the day Ethan and I ate breakfast together. I was embarrassed bringing it to the register and carried it across the store with the cover pressed tightly to my chest, afraid all the people in the store would know the purchase was ridiculously premature. “Look at her left hand. There’s no engagement ring,” I imagined a happily married brunette whispering. “Engagement ring?” The husband laughed. “She hasn’t even had a date with the guy.” Despite my humiliation when buying the magazine, I’m glad I did. It gave me a great idea for the flowers in my wedding bouquet: cosmos.
    Thirty-five minutes later, Ethan’s still not back. Did he change his mind? Why would he come all this way and then leave? Maybe he got an emergency call. Maybe Leah called and said she doesn’t want a divorce after all. He’s driving up to New Hampshire right now to reunite with her.
    I stuff the magazine in the trash, go to my bedroom, and lie on my bed. The ceiling fan above me spins. I watch the blades go ’round and ’round. I must have jinxed myself by purchasing that magazine. How could I have been so stupid? The doorbell rings, startling me from my thoughts. I jump off my bed and race to the front door. When I open it, Ethan extends a bouquet of flowers. “Sorry, I’m late. I would have been early but I forgot flowers.”
    He left to get flowers. Honest to God, I want to cry. Happy tears. They’re beautiful flowers, too, a fragrant bouquet of pink roses, tulips, miniature carnations, and hot pink spray roses. Hmmm, what are those two back there, cosmos? Couldn’t be, but they are. Another sure sign from Ajee, I know it.
    â€œThank you!” I hug him. His entire body stiffens and he pulls away quickly.
    â€œWe should really get going.” He’s looking at the floor. I glance down to see what has captured his interest. Nothing there but the tan linoleum tiles.
    I put on my coat, and we make the long walk down the stairs and around the house to his Jeep in silence. We’ve been together for less than five minutes, and we’ve already run out of things to say to each other. Brilliant. Quick, think of something, anything. “Thanks again for the flowers.” God help me. That’s the best I can come up with.
    â€œYou’re welcome.” He opens the passenger door, and I step in. The discarded soda cans and candy wrappers that littered the interior the last time I was in the Jeep are gone. The dashboard and leather seats shine with a new coat of Armor All, and the scent of vanilla lingers in the air.
    Ethan takes his time walking to his side of the car, but finally the driver’s door opens and he climbs in behind the wheel. He puts the key in the ignition but doesn’t turn it. He leans back in his seat and covers his face with his hands.
    Oh no, he’s going to tell me he doesn’t want to go on this date after all. “Are you okay?” I ask.
    He looks at me for the first time