Free Breaking Skin by Debra Doxer Page B

Renee said she needed to get away and clear her head. Her tone was flippant and completely ambivalent to any inconvenience her sudden vacation may cause me.
    “Thanks for taking care of Langley. Her schedule is taped inside the cabinet door next to the phone in the kitchen. See you next weekend.”
    I only missed her by seconds, but when I called her right back, she didn’t pick up. Now I believe Renee’s invitation was a ruse to get me here so she could take off. If she’d actually asked me to watch Langley for a week, I would have had to say no. I can’t miss a week of rehearsals, and she knows that. She knows what staying here could cost me.
    Is that what Renee wants? For me to lose my place in the company?
    I love my niece, and if it weren’t for Dennis’s rule that missed rehearsals have a direct impact on stage time, I would have loved to spend a week with Langley. But I can’t, not now when my position with the company is already so precarious.
    “Is my mom back?” Langley asks when she walks into the kitchen. “I looked in her room but she wasn’t there.”
    I set down my cup of coffee, my third. I didn’t get much sleep last night.
    “No, not yet.”
    She gives me a long look. “She is coming back, though, right?”
    I scoff as if the idea of Renee not coming home is ridiculous. “Of course she is.”
    As Langley watches me, there’s a pinch of concern in her eyes. How can I tell her Renee is going to be gone for a week? I’m afraid the thought of not seeing her mother for so long and having only me here won’t improve her state of mind. We’re doing okay, but the closer relationship I’m building with Langley is tenuous, still in its infancy, and could be brought down with very little provocation.
    I decide not to tell her until after the performance this afternoon. I don’t want to risk ruining the day for her. Besides, I have no idea what I’m going to do about this situation yet.
    “It’s Sunday,” she says after a moment. “Mom lets me watch as much TV as I want on Sundays.”
    Her expression holds a challenge. We had a small disagreement last night when I didn’t let her watch television before bed.
    “How much TV is that?”
    “Sometimes I watch it all day if she’s sleeping.”
    I was about to bring my coffee to my mouth but I pause halfway there. “She sleeps all day on Sundays?”
    Langley hesitates. “No. Not always.”
    “How often?”
    “I don’t know.” She shrugs and then looks back over her shoulder as if she wants to escape more questions.
    “What do you do for food on Sunday? Do you eat?”
    “I’m not a baby, Aunt Nikki. I know where the kitchen is.”
    I picture her in the kitchen, pulling a bag of chips out of the cabinet for dinner.
    “Can I go watch TV now?”
    When I nod, she bolts from the room, obviously regretting what she told me. Once again, I regret not being here more. It’s true Renee made it difficult, but not impossible. I should have pushed harder. I should have come on my own when Renee told me it wasn’t a good time because it was never a good time.
    When she gets home, I have to do better, and I have to talk to her. I don’t believe she actually neglects Langley, but sometimes she may inch close to the line.
     

     
    I’m comfortable in a dance studio. It feels like home. Everything about it is familiar down to the smell, the scuffed hardwood floors, and the smooth walls lined with mirrors. My body sighs in relief and simmers with energy when I walk into a studio.
    Standing in the place where I first learned to dance, I can pretend for a moment that all I feel is nostalgia as I set down the tray of cupcakes we bought on the way here. I pretend that I’m not furious with Renee, and that staying here for a week was my idea.
    I lick some pink frosting off my finger as Langley walks into the studio, looking worried.
    “Are you excited?” I ask her, putting on a smile.
    “No one is here yet.”
    “It’s early. They’ll be