Free Exodus (Imp Series Book 8) by Debra Dunbar Page A
Authors: Debra Dunbar
Lows in and out of my house. The guest wing wasn’t much more than framed in at this point. I had no room for an elf. And given Nyalla’s past, I wasn’t about to put one of them, Klee or not, in the same house with her.
“I can help,” he protested.
I spun around. “I’ve got a human girl who is pretty much my adopted daughter at this point. She was a changeling who spent most of her life as a slave to the elves in Cyelle. I’m not gonna be to blame if she runs you though with a fork or bludgeons you to death with the television remote.”
He blinked. “I doubt a human could kill me.”
I snorted. “You haven’t met Nyalla.”
“Oh let him come, NiNi,” Leethu cajoled in her most seductive voice. “He can run fast enough to get away from Nyalla, and if he intends to stay the rest of his life among the humans, he needs to know what he’s in for.”
She giggled, covering her beautiful mouth with a scaled hand. It was then I understood. Leethu loved her Klee elves, but such affection for demons was of the tough-love variety. We believed in survival of the fittest, and although we mourned the loss of those we cared about, we felt the world was better off without incompetent fools. If Bob was an incompetent fool, then I’d get a new spy. If not, well then he’d prove his ability to be of service to me.
“You’ll need to join my household.”
That brought the elf up short. “Huh?”
“Household. Otherwise you’re toast. They’ll still beat the shit out of you, but the only way I can keep the rest of my household, which includes demons, a Fallen Angel, humans and an elf-demon hybrid, from slicing you to tiny little bits is if you’re one of us. Join me, or prepare to have a very short existence on the other side of the gates.”
Bob swallowed hard a few times and glanced at Leethu, who nodded encouragingly. “Okay. I’m yours.”
Which is why I gated back to my house in Maryland with an elf in tow, and no fucking plan how I was going to handle the worst illegal immigration scenario the human world had ever seen.
Chapter 6
B ob and I appeared at the end of my driveway, nearly causing a jacked-up F250 to run off the road. My skills in teleportation had vastly improved over the last few months. I’d purposely put us a short walk from the house so as to not alarm any of my residents with Bob’s sudden appearance, and to give me a few moments to brief him on the state of affairs in Chez Sam.
“Have you been this side of the gates before?”
The elf’s wide mismatched eyes gave me my answer.
“Here’s the deal. No one speaks Elvish beyond demons, angels and Nyalla. And Nyalla might not speak to you at all. She’s my girl—mine. You so much as say one mean word to her and I will rip your fucking balls off.”
Bob gulped and looked around, no doubt planning an escape route.
“There’s another girl who’s half-elf/half-demon. She’s mine too. Same testicular removal if you say anything mean to her. Got it?”
He nodded. “She’s not really half-elf/half-demon? That doesn’t happen. Elves don’t…well, sometimes with humans, but not with demons.”
“Half-elf/half-demon. And whatever I do to you will be nothing compared to what Leethu does to you if you lay a hand on her.”
He raised said hands upward. “I understand. I promise I won’t touch her or your human girl.”
“Good. The guy that lives in this falling-down house beside the road used to be mine. He’s not mine-mine anymore, but he’s still mine. Be nice to him or—”
“I get it. I get it,” he interrupted. “Is everyone here yours? Just asking so I know who I’m free to insult.”
I thought about that. “Yeah. Pretty much everyone here is mine. Low FICO score, mine. Fallen Angel, mine. Humans I’ve slept with or wanted to sleep with or had business dealings with or shared a latte with twenty years ago, mine.”
“How about I just don’t talk to anyone.”
I think Bob meant that
“I can help,” he protested.
I spun around. “I’ve got a human girl who is pretty much my adopted daughter at this point. She was a changeling who spent most of her life as a slave to the elves in Cyelle. I’m not gonna be to blame if she runs you though with a fork or bludgeons you to death with the television remote.”
He blinked. “I doubt a human could kill me.”
I snorted. “You haven’t met Nyalla.”
“Oh let him come, NiNi,” Leethu cajoled in her most seductive voice. “He can run fast enough to get away from Nyalla, and if he intends to stay the rest of his life among the humans, he needs to know what he’s in for.”
She giggled, covering her beautiful mouth with a scaled hand. It was then I understood. Leethu loved her Klee elves, but such affection for demons was of the tough-love variety. We believed in survival of the fittest, and although we mourned the loss of those we cared about, we felt the world was better off without incompetent fools. If Bob was an incompetent fool, then I’d get a new spy. If not, well then he’d prove his ability to be of service to me.
“You’ll need to join my household.”
That brought the elf up short. “Huh?”
“Household. Otherwise you’re toast. They’ll still beat the shit out of you, but the only way I can keep the rest of my household, which includes demons, a Fallen Angel, humans and an elf-demon hybrid, from slicing you to tiny little bits is if you’re one of us. Join me, or prepare to have a very short existence on the other side of the gates.”
Bob swallowed hard a few times and glanced at Leethu, who nodded encouragingly. “Okay. I’m yours.”
Which is why I gated back to my house in Maryland with an elf in tow, and no fucking plan how I was going to handle the worst illegal immigration scenario the human world had ever seen.
Chapter 6
B ob and I appeared at the end of my driveway, nearly causing a jacked-up F250 to run off the road. My skills in teleportation had vastly improved over the last few months. I’d purposely put us a short walk from the house so as to not alarm any of my residents with Bob’s sudden appearance, and to give me a few moments to brief him on the state of affairs in Chez Sam.
“Have you been this side of the gates before?”
The elf’s wide mismatched eyes gave me my answer.
“Here’s the deal. No one speaks Elvish beyond demons, angels and Nyalla. And Nyalla might not speak to you at all. She’s my girl—mine. You so much as say one mean word to her and I will rip your fucking balls off.”
Bob gulped and looked around, no doubt planning an escape route.
“There’s another girl who’s half-elf/half-demon. She’s mine too. Same testicular removal if you say anything mean to her. Got it?”
He nodded. “She’s not really half-elf/half-demon? That doesn’t happen. Elves don’t…well, sometimes with humans, but not with demons.”
“Half-elf/half-demon. And whatever I do to you will be nothing compared to what Leethu does to you if you lay a hand on her.”
He raised said hands upward. “I understand. I promise I won’t touch her or your human girl.”
“Good. The guy that lives in this falling-down house beside the road used to be mine. He’s not mine-mine anymore, but he’s still mine. Be nice to him or—”
“I get it. I get it,” he interrupted. “Is everyone here yours? Just asking so I know who I’m free to insult.”
I thought about that. “Yeah. Pretty much everyone here is mine. Low FICO score, mine. Fallen Angel, mine. Humans I’ve slept with or wanted to sleep with or had business dealings with or shared a latte with twenty years ago, mine.”
“How about I just don’t talk to anyone.”
I think Bob meant that