cup and placed cream and sugar within his reach. "If my old lady could make coffee like Maria's, I'd marry her. Think she uses what's left in the pot for furniture polish."
Jen, who knew Lon's wife was famous for her cooking, laughed. "I'm going to tell her you said that the very next time I see her," she told him. "She'll be glad to know what you think of her cooking."
"Me and my big mouth." He sighed. "Well, my term of office will be up soon. Guess no one will miss me much if I ride on out of the state. There sure won't be any place for me in town if the old woman hears I said that."
Kirby joined in their laughter, but his eyes were troubled. "Is this an official visit, Lon?"
The sheriff let out a gusty breath. "Yes and no, boy. I stopped by to tell you that I don't look for no trouble about those two hombres got shot up last night. They was known gunmen, and I never did cotton to the idea of hired killers struttin' around the streets of my town. There'll have to be an inquest, but I know Doc Williams will agree they got what was comin' to 'em, seein' as how I was a witness to the shootin'." His face broke into one of his rare smiles. "I wouldn't have missed seein' Joe use that pool cue for a new double eagle. But maybe you'd better be in town this afternoon about two o'clock, just for the record. I ought to be back by then."
"You riding somewhere, Lon? It's a long time until two o'clock."
Lon let out his familiar sigh. "Thought maybe I'd pay a little visit to Dawes' spread. Been curious about that layout for a long time. 'Course I would have another cup of Maria's coffee before I go… was I pressed."
Maria filled all their cups, and the conversation became general until the sheriff ambled out to his horse, the heavy Colt slapping his bony thigh. Kirby's eyes were troubled.
Jen asked a question: "Was there more shooting last night?" Maria stopped work clearing away the table and waited for the answer.
Kirby refused to meet her eyes. "Yes, there was, Jen. But this time you aren't a part of it."
"Did Bill…?"
"No, Bill didn't stop a bullet. But a couple of his hired gunmen are ready for Boot Hill. That was what Lon was talking about."
Jen's voice came from far away. "It's all a part of what I tried to say yesterday. It won't work, Kirby. It just isn't meant for us. Every time you went to town there'd be trouble… gun trouble. I just couldn't stand waiting here at Wagon, never knowing when they'd bring you home tied across your horse. When is it going to end? How will it all end—when both you and Bill are dead? I told you I wanted all of you, a whole man. Maybe I'm selfish… even weak. But I want
you
, not a bullet-ridden body."
Kirby looked at her, his eyes mirroring hurt and despair. "Maybe you're right, Jen. But I ask you to think of this: I didn't start the trouble! I never wanted to fight. But if I didn't fight for what I think is right, you wouldn't want me then either. No woman would. I'd be a man without self-respect, a man hiding behind a woman's skirts." His voice was very low. "Ma waited here many times while Dad was out fighting for Wagon. I don't believe she ever complained, and I reckon she loved Dad as much as any woman ever loved a man."
Jen caught her breath, her eyes filling with tears.
"You had a right to say that. I guess I'm not as strong as Ma was. But I ask you to remember that she had her man a long time before he ever had to ride out and leave her with fear and dread for company. I just couldn't do it, Kirby. I couldn't marry you, knowing that you might have to leave me, even on our wedding night."
Kirby said nothing for a long time; he looked at her almost as if she were a stranger. Gently he said at last, "Maria will help you get your things together. I'll be ready to take you to town when you're packed." He turned on his heel and left the kitchen, closing the door carefully behind him.
Jen turned to Maria, tears streaming down her face. "I love him, Maria. Can't you see that?