Free Skulduggery Pleasant by Derek Landy Page A

of rare volumes that could be very useful indeed. All anyone knows about the Scepter is based on half-forgotten myths. Those books, and whatever else is in Ghastly's collection,
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    will hold a far more detailed description of the legends, about what the Scepter is and, in theory, how one would go about defending oneself against it."
    They parked and got out. The neighborhood was dirty and run-down, and people hurried by without even glancing at the battered car in their midst. A little old lady shuffled past, nodding to Skulduggery as she went.
    "Is this one of those secret communities you were telling me about?" Stephanie asked.
    "Indeed it is. We try to keep the streets as uninviting as possible, so no casual passerby will stop and have a look around."
    "Well, you've succeeded."
    "You should be realizing by now that looks are, more often than not, deceiving. A neighborhood like this, with its graffiti and litter and squalor, is the safest neighborhood you could possibly visit. Open the door to any one of these houses around us, and you walk into a veritable palace. Surface is nothing, Stephanie."
    "I'll try to remember that," she said as she followed him to a little shop perched on the corner. She looked around for a sign. "Is this the tailor's?"
    "Bespoke Tailors, yes."
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    "But there's no sign. There aren't any clothes in the window. How would anyone know it's even open?"
    "Ghastly doesn't need to advertise. He has a very specific clientele, and he can't really afford to let ordinary people wander in when he's measuring out a new suit for an eight-armed octopus man."
    "Are you serious? There's an eight-armed octopus man?"
    "There's a whole colony of octopus people," he said as they approached the door.
    "Really?"
    "Good God, Stephanie, of course not. That would be far too silly."
    He walked on before she could even try to hit him. The shop door was unlocked, and he led the way in. Stephanie was surprised by how clean and bright and ordinary-looking it was. She didn't know what she was expecting--mannequins that came alive and tried to eat you, perhaps. There was a nice smell in here too. Comforting.
    Ghastly Bespoke walked out from the back room and smiled when he saw them. He shook Skulduggery's hand warmly. He was broad shouldered, and his scars covered his
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    whole head. When Skulduggery turned to introduce Stephanie, and he saw the way she was staring at Ghastly, he shrugged.
    "Don't mind her," he said. "She stares. That's what she does when she meets new people."
    "I'm quite used to it," Ghastly said, still smiling. "Do you want to shake hands, miss, or start off with something easy, like waving?"
    Stephanie felt herself blush, and she stuck out her hand quickly. His hand was normal--no scars--but tough, and strong.
    "Do you have a name?" he asked.
    "Not yet," she admitted.
    "Better make sure that you really want one before you think any more about it. This life isn't for everyone."
    She nodded slowly, not sure what he was getting at. He took a moment, looking her up and down.
    "There's been some trouble?"
    "Some," answered Skulduggery.
    "Then the proper attire is probably called for." Ghastly took out a small pad, started jotting down notes. "Do you have a favorite color?" he asked her.
    "I'm sorry?"
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    "To wear. Any preference?"
    "I'm not sure I understand. ..."
    "Not all the clothes I make are merely examples of exquisite tailoring. Sometimes, if the situation arises, special requirements are catered to."
    "Such as keeping you safe until this whole thing is over," Skulduggery said. "Ghastly can make you a suit, nothing too formal, that could very possibly save your life."
    "Fashion," said Ghastly with a shrug. "It's life or death." His pen was at the ready. "So, once more, do you have a favorite color to wear?"
    "I. . . I'm not sure I could afford it. ..."
    Ghastly shrugged again. "I'll put it on Skulduggery's tab. Go nuts."
    She blinked. To go from her mother buying most of her clothes to this was a