Free Beyond Revenge (The Ransom Series) by A.T. Douglas Page A

his arms, sobbing against him, then looks
at me over his shoulder.
    In that one devastated glance from her, I stop breathing. 
Everything comes to a screeching halt, and I have to leave or the guilt will
destroy me.
    With a quick turn, I run to the front
door, throwing it open and launching myself out into the driveway.  The waning
sunset behind the houses across the street creates the perfect setting for my
misery, the sky’s final grasps at sunlight before the imminent darkness
consumes it.
    Except I am already consumed.
    I walk in endless circles on the
pavement, my hands on my head squeezing my skull to make the sounds of Morgan’s
screams go away, but they remain, louder and louder until I realize they’re
blending with Stella’s cries and I can’t handle it anymore.  The people I’ve
let down scream at me relentlessly, and I’m completely helpless to silence
their reminders of my failures.
    My body stops, collapsing me to my
knees against the rocky pavement.  My hands fall forward , and the rough surface digs into my skin as I stay there , motionless.  A strange calm settles over me before the rage builds
up again and bursts out of me in a cascade of human emotion.
    My hand balls into a fist a s I slam it down against the pavement, over and over again until I’m
painting the ground red with my blood.  When the pain in my hand finally makes
it through to my brain , I stop what I’m doing , pushing myself to standing before backing away from the site of
my mental and emotional breakdown.
    I turn to see Robert watching me from
the open doorway, Cindy not far behind him.  For a moment I worry about how
much they’ve seen , and then I realize it doesn’t
matter.  I’ve just shattered into a million pieces all over their driveway , but they aren’t looking at me like I’m crazy.  They know this
feeling.  This has been their reality for much longer than it has been mine.
    I rub my uninjured hand over my face
and realize I’ve been crying.  The sleeve of my shirt becomes convenient for casually wiping the tears from my face, though I’m not sure I’ll ever
get the stain of them off my skin.
    Sunset is over now.  Darkness has set
in, and I feel like the sun will n ever rise again.
    “Come inside, Leo,” Robert calls from
the door.
    I know I should move.  I know I should
go to him, but my body doesn’t follow through.  My
eyes can’t let go of that place in the sky across the street where the last of
the sun’s rays were holding out in a final stand against
the night.  They were just there.  It was only minutes before.
    “Leo,” Robert says, much closer now,
and then a hand touches my shoulder.  “Let’s go inside.  We can regroup.  We’ll
figure this out.”
    “How do you do it?” I ask without
thinking.  “How have you and Cindy gone months like this and not lost your
minds?”
    Robert looks away and clears his
throat.  It takes him a moment to answer.  “We have to be strong for her.  The
moment we give in to weakness, we’ve lost her.”
    “You’re both great parents,” I say out
of nowhere.  The alcohol is talking for me .  “She’s so
lucky to have you both.  I know everything you did for her before was just to
protect her.  I think she knows it, too, but she’s a stubborn teenager.  She
admitted it to me.  She’s too stubborn.”
    Somehow Robert manages to smile at my drunken ramblings, and I’m jealous.  I want to be smiling like him,
and not from the alcohol.
    “Come on,” he says, and I follow him
inside.
    Cindy gives me an ice pack for my
throbbing hand, and the three of us sit together quietly in the living room,
dinner left forgotten in the kitchen, our appetites lost.  It seems pointless to
do normal things like eat and sleep and breathe when you know that someone you
love is suffering.
    “We got his attention,” Robert says
after what seems like endless silence.  “I’ll see if my guys can trace the origin
of the call.  They have to be