Free The Waiting Game by Sheila Bugler Page B

to move around. She went outside, saw Freddie Carr, the prosecution lawyer, smoking a cigarette and went over to him.
    ‘Are they ready for us?’ Freddie asked.
    ‘Not yet,’ Ellen said. She nodded at his cigarette. ‘Got a spareby any chance?’
    He passed over a packet of Marlboro Lights. She lit up and inhaled greedily.
    ‘I can’t bear it in there,’ she said. ‘Why do we have to drag these things out so bloody much? After today, the trial won’t be for months. In the meantime, that poor woman is unable to get on with her life. It’s bullshit.’
    ‘The courts are busy,’ Freddie said. ‘Nothing any of us can do about that. We should consider ourselves lucky we still have a legal system. The government’s cut everything back so much, it’s a wonder you can find any lawyers still working.’
    ‘The problem is,’ Ellen said, ‘I know sometimes cases take a long time to pull together, but this one is so clear-cut. We’ve got over twenty witnesses willing to step forward and confirm what Dayton did. Christ, the man himself doesn’t even deny it. Why do we have to go through this farce? There should be a fast track for cases like this.’
    Freddie laughed. She thought maybe he didn’t realise she was being serious.
    ‘You can’t have one rule for some and another for others,’ he said. ‘I admit the process isn’t perfect, but it’s the best we can do and we all need to find a way of working with it. Unless you’d rather we just put people like Dayton in front of a firing squad.’
    ‘Why not?’ Ellen said. ‘Why should he get to live when poor Roxanne and Jason don’t have that luxury?’
    ‘Because we’re not animals,’ Freddie said. ‘No one has the rightto take another person’s life, Ellen. If we killed Dayton, then that makes us no better than him. Is that what you want?’
    Ellen didn’t answer. She thanked Freddie for the cigarette and went back inside. Darlene and her granddaughter were still on the bench where Ellen had left them. The little girl had fallen asleep, cradled in Darlene’s arms. Darlene was crying quietly, tears falling onto the child’s head.
    Ellen sat beside her, put her arm around Darlene’s shoulder and held her while she cried. She didn’t care if wanting Dayton dead made her a bad person. If someone handed her a gun right now, she’d go down to the cell where he was being held and kill him herself.

Fifteen
    I’ve had a few too many. Wouldn’t be doing this otherwise. I can’t help thinking she knows I’m there. Watching her. It’s late, but she’s still up. Moving around the house. I know this because the lights are on and the curtains are open. Almost like she wants to be seen. I’m watching her and wishing I could go over there. You’d think the drink would make that easier, right? You’d be wrong. Pissed up like this, it’s not going to give the best impression, is it? Don’t want her getting ideas about me. She’s told me enough stories. I want her to know I’m not like that.
    Meatloaf is thudding away inside my head. Starts off with the ballads. Slow and easy. Soft voices, comforting almost. As long as they stay separate from the memories. It’s later, when the harder stuff starts up, that’s when the bad shit starts.
    ‘You took the words right out of my mouth.’
    Of course, when he goes onto that one, my mind turns back to her. Mouth opening. Slowly, like she wants it but she’s scared.
    And then something happens.
    The lights go off downstairs. Happens so suddenly, I’m left feeling a bit hard done by. Can’t help it. It’s like she knows I’m watching and she’s doing it on purpose. Letting me watch her for a bit, getting me so I can’t think about anything except her. And then, when she’s got me so fired up I swear to God I’d do anything she asked me to. Bang. Nothing.
    She’s playing with me and I hate her for it. A second later, I’m hating myself for being such a bastard. She’s not that sort of person.