Free ShouldveKnownBetter by Cassandra Carr Page B

raked his hands through his hair so he wouldn’t touch her again. Sebastian never wanted her to feel threatened by him. He’d rather cut off his shooting arm.
    “ Je pense à toi tout le temps . God, I think about you all the time,” he said then bolted out the door. As he rushed down the hall, he considered what he’d done. He hadn’t wanted that to happen.
    Dammit, that isn’t true.
    Sebastian couldn’t deny he’d wanted to finally taste her, but not like that, so rushed and in the middle of her office. Even so, he couldn’t regret it. He had gotten a taste of paradise and now craved more. If luck was on his side, he’d have the entire season to get his fill of Sarah.   
     

 
     
     
     
     
    Chapter Five
     
    Sarah threw herself into the world of an NHL season: sleeping at odd times, eating a whole lot of chicken and pasta with the team before every game, and always being on the go. Despite not taking to the new sleep schedule very well, she was having the time of her life.
    After one of the first road trips, her phone rang, waking her from a deep sleep. Caller ID showed “Marcy” a so she picked up, stifling a yawn. “Hello?”
    “Sarah?”
    “Yeah.” She squinted to see the time. Eight-thirty at night. I don’t even remember lying down on the couch.
    As Sarah struggled to wakefulness, Marcy caught her up on the gossip around Cornell. Sarah in turn told her the latest about the guys and her job.
    Knowing she needed some perspective on this Sebastian thing, she confessed all that had happened recently, including that crazy make-out session in her office, the internal video of which played in her head on “Repeat.”
    “So am I sick to want him? I am, aren’t I?”
    “No, you’re not sick,” Marcy said. “Why would you think so? It’s a natural reaction. You’re only human.”
    “Because I work for the team and I’m ten years older than him. It feels wrong on so many levels.” But still turns me on.
    Crap.
    “Sarah, I’ve known you for a long time. You aren’t accepting in your heart what you think in your head is right, that there can be nothing between you and Sebastian. You can’t stop wanting him just because you think you should. Right?”
    “Yeah, probably.” She wasn’t sure she could make her heart accept what her head insisted was right. “I don’t even know which way is up. I’m interested in Sebastian, like really, really interested. And you know it’s been a long time since I’ve been interested in any man.”
    “Let me ask you this. Be honest. What’s truly holding you back? Do you think if you dated him, people would think it was unethical because of your role within the team, or is it something else?”
    “What are you getting at?” Sarah frowned. She was biting her nail again. She’d never break the stupid habit if she kept letting everything get to her.
    “Well, if you decide this man is what you want, you always have the option to quit.”
    Quit? Sarah’s eyebrows shot up. “I couldn’t do that. I told you, I love my job, and it’s not like people are beating down my door to offer me other great positions. Not that I have any interest in another position anyway. This job is perfect for me.” She sighed. “I feel like such a letch, like I’m hiding some dirty little secret.”
    “Have you thought about dating someone else? Maybe that would help. You know, like baby steps.”
    “Baby steps? That would hardly be a baby step.” The idea of dating someone else just to forget Sebastian seemed futile—he was everywhere she went. And, since the attack, she hadn’t been crazy about dating in general.
    “When would I find time to meet someone? I don’t even have any friends here except people I’ve met through the team. I can’t exactly walk into a bar and pick up some random guy, can I?”
    “Why not?” Marcy asked. “Women do it all the time.”
    “Not this woman.” Sarah wrinkled her nose. “I could never do that, especially after what