Free Galaxy Patrol by Jean Ure Page B

ear.
    BOY LOSES EAR IN TRANSPORTER ACCIDENT . I could already see the headline in the local paper. Not that anyone would believe it, ’cos people never do. They wouldn’t have to, anyway, ’cos suddenly there it was. Back! A big flapping elephant’s ear stuck to the side of my head. (It’s Rosie who says I have elephant’s ears. She can talk! She has a nose like a
blob
.)
    Now that I was all in one piece, I could concentrate on my surroundings. Where had I been brought? A spaceship, that was for sure. I could recognise the inside of a spaceship when I saw one. Seemed like they’d beamed me direct to the control deck. Wow! Serious stuff. Whoever they were, they obviously meant business.
    Some of them were standing there, watching, as my body reassembled itself. Two men and a woman. They all wore uniforms, like black tracksuits with coloured logos. They didn’t
look
like aliens… I mean different life forms. Creatures from other planets. But they obviously had to be.
    Humans might have gone to the moon, and Mars, and places like that, but we hadn’t yet invented transporters. Not as far as I was aware. Only other life forms had those. We
knew
about them; but we didn’t actually have them. Which meant that these three people weren’t really people at all…
    They were
pretending
to be people. It was obviously some kind of disguise. Some kind of cloak they wrapped themselves in to fool you. Or to make you feel more comfortable, depending on what sort of life forms they were. Friendly, or … the other sort. It wasn’t really possible to tell.
    One of the men stepped forward. He had a red logo with gold stripes, so I guessed he had to be the captain. The others only had silver, and only one stripe each. The captain had three. He raised a hand, very solemnly, palm upward. I raised mine back; it seemed only polite. Unless it was some kind of threat? No! He was smiling. A friendly smile, like Captain Kirk. Now his lips were moving. What was he saying? I couldn’t hear anything. There wasn’t any sound! Had I gone deaf? I rubbed at my right ear, checking that it really had come back.
    â€˜I beg your pardon.’ The captain pressed a little button in the middle of his logo and his voice came booming out. ‘A translator blip. Forgive me. I say again… Hail, Earthlings!’

    Earthlings
? How many of us were there? Don’t say my body had reassembled itself into two!
    And then, from somewhere behind me, a familiar voice spoke. It sounded a bit irritable.
    â€˜Well, hail to
you
,’ it said, ‘but d’you mind telling us what’s going on?’
    Rosie! What was
she
doing here? What could anyone possibly want with her? And why did she have to be so rude?
    â€˜I mean, for starters,’ she said, ‘where exactly are we?’
    Such
bad manners. We were guests in this spaceship! If I’d been the captain, I’d have told her to watch herself. You just don’t talk that way to other life forms. If they’re friendly, it’s ungracious; and if they’re not friendly… Well! Who knows what they might do?
    She could have got us into a whole load of trouble. We could have been vaporised on the spot! As it was, the captain obviously decided to make allowances for her ignorance.
    â€˜First of all,’ he said, ‘allow me to introduce myself. I am Captain Cranko. This is Lieutenant Malandra, and this is Lieutenant Bendra. And this…’ He waved a hand. ‘Is the command deck of the starship
Galaxy Empire
. We welcome you aboard!’
    I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! I
knew
spaceships existed. I knew there were extraterrestrial beings. I
knew
they had transporter beams. I shot a triumphant glance at Rosie. Now let her say it was stupid boy stuff!
    Rosie took absolutely no notice at all. She never does when I’ve proved her wrong. She stood glaring up at the captain, all butch and aggressive.
    â€˜If